


Break My Bones

by Reids_Jello



Category: Shameless (US), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Related, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Siblings, Chan is basically lip gallgher, Changbin is a drug dealer, De-Aged Characters, Drugs, Felix comes from an broken home, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, Lee Felix is Whipped, Lee Felix is so in love, Lee Felix-centric, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Shameless, They all smoke, as in they are all teenagers, changbin is very heavily based off season one mickey milkovich, crack smut, i hate doing my babies like this, i miss my baby mickey, it’s shameless culture, seo changbin!tough guy, southside boys???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-07-10 02:00:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15939458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reids_Jello/pseuds/Reids_Jello
Summary: Lee Felix is hopelessly in love with hood rat ghetto trash Seo Changbin, Even if all he is to Changbin is a warm mouth.





	1. But At Last Came The Knock

**Author's Note:**

> -uneditted lol its 3;42am and that shi is not happening  
> HEY LOL I LOVE THIS IDEA AND THERE IS SMUT EVEN THOUGH I HATE SEXUAL CHANGLIX AND THIS IS MY FIRST SMUT SO I AM SO SO SO SO SO SORRRRRRYYYYY!!!!!! but basically i miss Mickey Milkovich and i love love love the idea of Felix falling head over heels with Bad boy changbin who just uses him for sex?? so basically ' you have a nice butthole for me to put my pee pee in?????'
> 
> Also if you guys don’t recognize all my shameless quotes I’m going to ACTUALLY fucking cry xoxo because 75% of the diauge is ripped straight from the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -uneditted lol its 3;42am and that shi is not happening  
> HEY LOL I LOVE THIS IDEA AND THERE IS SMUT EVEN THOUGH I HATE SEXUAL CHANGLIX AND THIS IS MY FIRST SMUT SO I AM SO SO SO SO SO SORRRRRRYYYYY!!!!!! but basically i miss Mickey Milkovich and i love love love the idea of Felix falling head over heels with Bad boy changbin who just uses him for sex?? so basically ' you have a nice butthole for me to put my pee pee in?????'
> 
> Also if you guys don’t recognize all my shameless quotes I’m going to ACTUALLY fucking cry xoxo because 75% of the diauge is ripped straight from the show.

To Changbin it’s just fucking, not loving.

And to Felix it’s anything but. He's not really sure how he got in this mess, but next thing he knows he’s knocking at Changbin’s front door .  
It always ends the same when all hell breaks loose at home. he always find himself back there.  
Changbin shows no sympathy on the surface but Felix has taught himself, or lied to himself that what goes on behind those closed doors is his sympathy. At the end of the day when he gets beat down his heart runs to Changbin hyung even if older man does see it the same.

Neither of the boys come from a ‘great’ or even good home, They basically have had to raise themselves… Felix just does a better job, plus he has his brother Chan who he probably owes his life to at this point. Because even though they are brothers, they’re also thick as theives. Best friends, those two against the world.

in the Lee family it's everyone for themselves, especially when Jisung feels like doing an eight-ball (who knows where he got the money from, probably stole it from hyunjin) and then smacking around his meat bags he calls kids. However on this occasion jisung came home completely shitfaced, but pissed nonetheless for some unknown reason. Probably because the bartender at The Alibi Baekhyun made him actually pay his tab or completely stop serving him.

Felix had been up stairs in his room, laying down and playing guitar loosely, to drown out whatever the Chan and his girlfriend Mina were getting on downstairs. Their house was basically a free-for-all exceptionally when their sad excuse for a drunken father or Lee Han Jisung was on another bender.

Felix set his pick down and let his mind wander to Changbin, his sleek black hair and bruting eyes. He was all the younger boy wanted to think about, Felix likes to daydream about going on cute dates with his hyung or tracing all the sun and stars onto his milky skin. In reality Chnagbin would never dream of doing those things. It’s just sex in his head. That’s all Felix is good for to him, and Sadly Changbin only ever calls him over for late night booty calls or when own father gets arrested and needs “support” but support in Changbins head translates to Felix’s lips He didn't mind though, anything to be around the center of his fantasies.

“What the fuck is this?” Jisung screams with a slur of his words

Felix is ripped from his thoughts, He knows he should go down there to help Chan, and his brothers girlfriend Mina, but-

He hears a screech,which Most likely belongs to Mina who is terrified of Chan's Father, Felix honestly wonders how Chang convinced her to come over to their place, even if Jisung had disappeared for two weeks

“Mina go” He hears Chan shout which is accompanied by his fathers fist punching against the eldest brothers now bruised skin 

JiSung's mumbling unaudioable.

Chan is letting out painful grunts and a string of softly spoken curses Jisung treats his kids like punching bags, everything is their fault in his eyes. They are the reason Jenny left, They are the reason he's and addict. Everything is fucked because of them in Jisung's eyes.

Felix is inching closer to the top of the steps. He wants to help his brother but he knows he’ll just get the same treatment. Then there's a moment when there is no noise, no hitting but none of Chan’s voice. Felix grossly worried

“Fucking hell” Chan gasps in pain

Felix runs down stairs, only to see his brother in nothing but his boxers, which explains the noises he heard previous to his Dad getting home, But is also why Jisung is so angry, most likely.  
His breath is labored and his face is bloody, like he had just been pistol whipped.Which he undoubtedly probably has

‘What the fuck did you do to him?” Felix shoves his father off of his older brother, Chan. soon after he tried to run back up the stairs and hide from Jisung in fear of what he’ll do to him.

“Fucking brat” he slurs grabbing Felix,  
Chan weakly stands up in attempt to get his Father off his younger brother. Blood still trickling from Chan’s bloody nose and cut lips “Felix,go” he sighed more than shouted

And Felix darted out the door and didn't stop until he reached the only other place he knew to go. Changbin’s house

There he was again knocking on the door of his dearest Changbin It was freezing outside and he in nothing but ripped black jeans, a polo green sweater he had gotten from the goodwill last fall, and a pair of sons ripped cut off gloves.

He knocked again before Changbin abruptly opened the door

“The fuck do you want? You can’t be here” Changbin spat in the fragile boy’s face.

A tear fell on to Felix’s starry cheeks at his words.

“Jisung came back, He Fucked Chan up-i didn't know where else to go. I had to see you Changbin” Felix sniffled with a plead in his voice.

“Fuck” Changbin sighed when he noticed the bruise on Felix's beautifully freckled face. Nowhere in hell would Changbin admit to caring for the blonde boy, He couldn't just turn him away like this. Way way-deep under his tough-guy act it hurt him seeing Felix like this… even if it is just fucking to him.

 

“ My dad is here, but i can try to see if Woojin can get him to leave” Changbin sighed

“Who’s this” Changbin’s Father had made his way to the door, standing stall behind his son

Changbin cursed under his breath “Uh-fuckin-shit, um Dad this is Felix… we play guitar-uh- together” He coughed

Felix couldn't help but stare in awe, Changbin had never picked up his guitar before in his life let alone know how to play it. However he remembered the small detail about Felix that he plays it. blush spread across Felix's face.

“Hm” His Father responded and then walked away displeased. Changbin’s family were no better than his own. The only difference is the Seo family were infamous on the south side mainly since Chnagbin had been titled “the dirtiest boy in all of the south side” and his father was nonstop in and out of jail.

Nonetheless Changbin moved aside to let Felix inside “Come on in” he told the other boy

“Did i just get invited into Changbin’s house?” Felix teased

“Fuck you is what you were invited too” Changbin laughed

Felix was so in love.

Today was much different than the other times he had been at Changbin’s house.  
Typically he’d just come over for sex, Either he would come on his own or Changbin would call him for a late night booty call. But tonight they were just hanging out like friends? It was nice.  
Changbin threw some pizza bagels in the oven for them while they played overwatch.  
Felix wishes it could be like this all the time, but i guess that’s what his daydreams were for.

“Ha! I won again, hyung! You fucking suck” Felix said playfully

However Changbin was distracted from the game by a text he received a few seconds ago

“Changbin?” Felix questioned

“Shit, Sorry Lix there’s something i gotta do but i'll be back” Changbin told the younger boy relcutantly

Felix frowned, but the nickname lit a fire somewhere inside of him… maybe after tonight things could change?

“ Yo Woojin get the bag” Changbin told his brother, glancing toward the basement.  
Woojin grabs the bag and waits by the door for changbin to join him

“Get in the fucking car” Changbin shouts at Woojin while brushing him off

Woojin rolled his eyes and walked outside

“I'll be back” Changbin kissed Felix’s forehead. His stomach did a 180, and butterflies were swimming i his stomach, flipping around. that kiss was true endearment, no passion just sweetness and meant more to him then you could ever know.

x

Changbin met Woojin back in the car, to go meet Jeongin by the Alibi  
For the deal. It was pretty standard, however Changbin couldn’t help but feel like someone was watching or-following him? He tries to get it done as fast as he can. Meet the kid, get the money, and gun it.

He waited behind the Alibi and near the dumpster, with Woojin in the get away car.

Jeongin was quite young and nerdy. However he came from the north side, not to mention money. Oh and he had a plush ass Changbin didn’t mind staring at.

When Jeongin approached Changbin it was just like the movies. The handshake, money in the hand and drugs in another.

Once that was done he headed back into the car with Woojin

They were back in their car, ready to turn back home.  
“ fucking drive” Changbin snapped at Woojin who was just staring at him dumbly

Changbin was secretly hoping Felix would still be there, after all he’s only been gone for an hour and a half.

He arrives inside, Greeted by a super sound asleep Felix who happens to be passed out on his couch. Changbin would be lying if he didn't stare at the frail delicate boy curled up in front of him, Seeing Felix like that did things to him, making him want to watch him get completely wrecked; destroyed even, under his touch.

Changbin leaned down to bite on Felix’s neck, Leaving a particularly pungent and dark red hickey just below the Younger boys ear. Felix still soundly asleep squirmed. The marking would be sure to ache and bruise by the time he woke, Felix wouldn’t mind. He had a thing for that, if the slowly growing bulge in his pants were anything to go by. Changbin continue to lick up his jaw, and back down his neck and stopping at his clavicle. Hs loved Felix’s prominent collarbones.  
The older, darker haired man moved back up Felix’s neck for a second time, he bit down on Felix’s neck particularly hard, which woke up Felix with a gasp

“Ah” Felix let out, Before making eye contact with the older man hovering over him.  
Changbin hungrily licked his lips, palming Felix roughly in his jeans.

“B-binnie” Felix choked out

Changbin continued to rub him through his pants, growing harder himself with every sound the ladder let out.

“Ha-ah” Felix whined “Y-your dad is still here” The friction of his rough jeans and Changbin’s large hands felt so good against him, but he has to inform him in fear of what his dad finding out could do to them. p>

Changlin looked at him with hooded eyes and a lazy smirk.

“Come with me, then” he said patting Felix’s thigh. The younger boy nearly jumped to his feet in order follow Changbin too his room, still frowning at the loss of friction on his crotch

Once they got into Changbin’s room he shut the door and started taking his shirt off and shortly after he helped Felix out of his own. He pushed Felix on to the bed and unbuckled his jeans, while he looked down at Changbin so cutely and giggly. Fingers tugging at his lips nervously and excited.

“Can you not fucking look at me like that” Changbin asked while tugging Felix’s pants off of his body.

“Sorry, your big cock just gets me so giddy” Felix joked, sticking his fingers in his mouth for him to suck on, while making direct eye contact with the dark eyed man on top of him

Changbin let out a deep and hungry growl

“Yes sir” Felix exclaimed with his accent peeking through a bit  
Felix turned himself over on to all fours. Behind him he could hear the jingle of Changbin undoing his belt.

“Hnnng why are you taking to long?” Felix complained all whiney and wiggled his ass in the air as if to punctuate his sentence.

“If your not patience, i’ll fuck you raw Lix” Changbin snickered with his gaze dark and heavy on Felix's tanned back.

“Oohhh don’t you dare tease me” Felix moaned exaggeratedly

In truth Changbin was taking so long because his father was still home. They never fooled around when he was there. Only when his Father wasn’t or he met Felix at his job and they got it on there in a back room. God only knows what would happen if his Father were to find out his so with getting it on with another guy.

Changbin positioned himself at Felix’s entranced, he waited for a moment before he pushed in

“Ah-f-fuck c-changb-b-in” Felix moaned, he was so sensitive already to begin with. One of their first times together he had came just from that, and of course Changbin didn’t stop no matter how much Felix whined and cried. Changbin liked his partners loud so that just egged him on even more.

the older dark haired boy started moving again, he had thought he heard footsteps but ignored it, after all Woojin and his Father were still Home. Felix let out a low pitched whine

“Fuck, how are you still so tight?” he grunted

Next thing they know the door is opened with a bang! Felix is still a moaning mess  
While two police officers are accompanied by Changbin’s father who are standing the in the bedroom door, wide open. Felix is so high on bliss he doesn't even notice that Changbin has stopped moving, he contuines fucking himself back onto the darker man

“What the fuck is this? Changbin-how could you?” His Dad asked, completely mortified

Changbin can’t do anything… he is so ashamed. Felix is like a deer in headlights. Frozen, from his words.

“Um sir” The Officer coughs, “I'm going to need you to remove your extremities from the other man and put some clothes on…”

His stomach flipped, however not from arosel but pure embarrassment. He pulled himself out from Felix who let out a subconscious little “Ah” he sounded so needy and pretty. He patted the blonde boys back, before finding his undergarments and getting back in to his jeans.

Changbin’s father tried to rush at him before another officer had to grab him

“ How fucking could you? No son of mine is going to be a fucking aid’s monkey!” his Father screamed at the top of his lungs

“Liking what i like don’t make me a bitch” Changbin Spat at his Father

Both officers were leading Changbin outside, after he had gotten handcuffed  
“Sir, you are under arrest for drug possession and intent to distribute” The officer tells him

“What the fuck?? Is that what you were out doing?” Felix who is fully dressed now Shouted

No response, Changbin doesn’t have the courtesy to even make eye contact with him. No to mention Felix can’t even imagine how Changbin must be feeling right now, his secrets out even if he won’t admit it and now he’s under arrest. He is going to fucking jail and he’ll Be in a world of hurt when he gets home if it’s anything to go by his father in handcuffs as well. If the cops had’nt of showed up and he still found them He could guarteen they both would have been pistol whipped.

The police officers took him outside while one of them recited his Miranda Warnings to him. “Anything you say can and will be held against you in the court of law” The police officer started. “You have the right to an attorney, and if you can afford one ( which I suspect you can’t ) one will be appointed to you” the police officer coughed The officers were about to push Changbin into the back of the police car

“Wait!” Felix shouted, approaching Changbin with tear stained cheeks. The teary eyed boy leaned in for a kiss.

“Kiss me and i’ll cut your fucking tongue out” Changbin said with a straight face and no sign of emotion.

Felix tried to look away with his cheeks suddenly on fire.

“Sir please back away from the car” One of the officers asked him, and Solemnly they drove off with Changbin, Inventively taking him to the station.

 

Felix couldn't believe what had just happened, he had started walking home. He was completely baffled but still upset, he had no clue when he'd get to see his hyung again... Drug possession with intent to distribute to sell is serious fucking offense! His cheeks were wet but at the same time he couldn't stop laughing. Passing cars must have thought he was fucking insane.

“Wait He what-” Chan nearly spit out his drink

“Yeah!” Felix responded

“So you mean to tell me, you guys were boning and the fucking police interrupted you two?” Chan started laughing hysterically

“Yes! I’m literally getting my ass railed and he’s getting arrested for possession” Felix took a sip of  
drink

“That is actually to good” Chan sighed, “No offense Felix, but like why Changbin? He’s so scruffy and like ghetto trash…”

“What? And we aren’t?” Felix asks

“We are nowhere near Seo level!” Chan playfully shouts, tapping his younger brother on the arm

“Yeah but we are Lee’s” Felix responds

“Okay true, and related to the magnificent Jisung so that basically makes us trash… but i can tell you we at least have a shot at getting outta the south side” Chan told Felix before grabbing his beer from him and taking a sip for himself.

“Speaking of Jisung, how’s your face?” Felix asked, grabbing his drink back from his brothers hand

“Fucking throbbing” Chan laughed “How’s your ass?” he nudged Felix

“Shut the fuck up” Felix rasped playfully before getting up, which Chan responded with by slapping his younger brothers butt

“Aya!” he shouted rubbing his cheek. He started approaching the stairs so he could go back into his room, when he tripped on a blacked out jisung. He shrugged it off and kept walking up stairs

"Good night little bro! Sorry the Officers didn't even give you a chance to finish" Chan cracked up while taking a sip from the bottle his sibling left.


	2. Cascading Failures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is uneditted lol and i kinda rushed to upload it... more likely than not ill return to update it as well as add to it....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, i'm don't have to work on anything this week that's YB which takes up most of my time,, so hopefully i'll get some fics updated. 
> 
> also i wanted to address some things 
> 
> So i know last chapter and the whole idea of this fic is kind of odd especially with my choice of ship, i really dislike the idea of sexual changlix since they are both so young and i see it more as a sweet young love ship, but i had the idea since season 9 of shameless just started and I AM UHHH MISSING GALLAVICH sine noel and cam aren't coming back so gallvich is pretty dead... but yeah also when i write smut especially i'll have my characters say weird shit since i think it's funny and possibly lightens the mood?? but yeah im sorry if it left a bad taste in your mouth... also most of my lines are ripped right from the Shameless script

 

 It’s been over a week since Changbin’s arrest, According to Felix’s fake girlfriend who also happens to be Changbin’s sister Chelsey.

   Changbin has finally been sentenced to up to a 6 months in juvenile since he’s still a minor, nonetheless this isn’t just some petty crime... well maybe for Changbin it is. Since robbery is baby steps to your first home invasion a Seo. But Unfortunately this isn't his first offense which possible has made his case worse and added to his time in baby jail. 

Today Felix had planned on visiting Changbin in juvy. Although he wasn't exactly sure if Changbin even wanted to see him...it made his heart break thinking about him stuck in there alone, but also kind of angry because he wanted to blame himself for letting him go, but if he had tried to stop him he’d probably just leave with a bloody lip and nothing else.

            ____________________

“Shove it Chan!” Chelsey laughed

Felix, Chelsey, and his brother Chan were walking around downtown Seoul after school, before Felix had to work at the corner store.

Chelsey had just dyed her hair green causing Chan to nonstop pull on her hair and call her names varying from Oscar the grouch, or slime girl-while they were walking.  
Felix actually thought the new color was quite nice, it really accented her naturally brown roots and hazel eyes.

    “ um, Chelsey… have you heard anything from Changbin” Felix asked rubbing the back of his neck

Chan shot him a skeptical yet warning eye

“Yeah, I’ve been sending him cigarettes and girl on girl porn mags” Chelsey jokes grabbing on to Felix

Felix cringed at her words

“Sounds Like Changbin” Chan laughed Subtly

”I mean it’s all he’s really been asking for” she laughed 

“W-when are you visiting him next?” Felix interrupted 

“Not really sure, no offense dude but why do you care so much about what happens to Changbin?” She responded trying not to sound as rude as her word implied

With both her father and her brother behind bars, Chelsey is left pretty much in the dark on the situation…

“I-I don’t” Felix blushed “Anyways I should start heading down to the store” he said staring down at his feet “duty calls” he tried to snickered 

 “yeah, stocking shelves” Chelsey shouted 

  “It’s  more than you do” he retired 

“Well, I’ll see you at home little bro” Chan yelled while taking his pack of cigarettes  from his back pocket, and watching Felix disappear in the distance.

        ___________________________ 

On his way to the corner store he couldn’t help but letting his mind wander to Changbin, he imagine what the center of his attention might look behind bars... locked in a cell, all alone (hopefully at least)   
With a Orange jumpsuit Against his skin and his black hair in curls.

 

Felix let out a sad sigh. All he wanted to do was be with Changbin. it’s bad enough he couldn’t even show his affection for Changbin in fear of his words and actions, but now he can’t do anything about it.

A few minutes later, Changbin still on his brain, like he always was.

Felix reached the store. And There was no sign of Taehyung his boss but he thought he might as well get it over with and start stocking the shelves.

The blonde boy is currently bent over the second shelf restocking the baby food, ( we carry baby food?)

Felix heard the ring of the door opening

“Taehyung?” He called out peeking his head up

“Fucking hell, what are you doing here?” Felix shouted discouraged when making eye contact with Jisung, his father. If you could even call him that. 

“That is no way to speak to your father! If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be here you little shit” Jisung slurred walking to the cooler to grab a 40

“You're Not even my real dad, mom cheated on you with your brother” Felix deadpanned and rolled his eyes at his ‘Dad’

“Oh right” Jisung joked, not taking offense as he heading for the door

“Yah” Felix took a deep breath “ you have to pay for that”

“Just put it on my tab son” the older man laughed at the kid in front of him

“You know we don’t do that here” Felix started growing irate

“Well let’s just look at it as a small loan” Jisung response flailing his hands in the air, shaking with drunkness

Felix just let him leave, there was no use arguing with Jisung, even if it was at his suspense and risking weather he’d still have a job.

Although, stealing rate has been way down since Changbin’s arrest. The whole situation with Jisung reminded Felix of when he went over to his house to try and get Taehyung’s gun back, which in the end just resulted in his first time with the dodgy boy.

Work at the shop was pretty slow today, However Chan did drop by to get a fresh pack of cigarettes and to talk to his Brother.

“Felix, how would you feel I started going out with Chelsey?” Chan asked with his hands on the counter to hold himself up

“What about Mina for starters?” Felix asked with attitude in his voice

“Oh she broke up with me after the incident with Jisung” Chan chuckled 

“Well, chelsey is my girlfriend so no” Felix told his older brother, while getting up to go to the back of the store

“Fake, girlfriend” Chan pointed out 

“Still” Felix defended

“But your only with her so you can fuck her brother!” Chan started raising his voice “Does she even know?”

“No she doesn't and She’s not going too. Chan you know what would happen to me if people found out i was gay” Felix pleaded with his brother

“Whatever” Chan told him. He went behind the counter to grab a pack of cigarettes -leaving 5 won in the register

“Chan?”

“Yeah Felix?”

“Can you drive me to the RYDC tomorrow?” Felix dared to ask his older brother

“Your fucking kidding me” Chan laughed running his finger through his curly hair

“Please” Felix asked again

“Fine, we’ll go after school” Chan said before walking out the shop

Felix blood ran warm, thinking about Changbin again  
_____________________________________

 

Today was th day Chan had agreed to drive Felix down to visit Changbin, He had two classes left until the last bell. He sat in class with his mind jumping from place to place, and place to place. His leg was rapidly thumping up and down as if that would make the time past faster, spoiler it didn't.

“Pssst Lix” Chelsey whispered from behind him, slightly kicking his chair

“Yeah?” he responded

“What do you think of Chan?” She asked with her pencil between her teeth

“Well, he my brother” Felix laughed

“No you asshat, like me and Chan” She joked

“What? You’d really cheat on me with my brother?” He asked acting fake offended

“Of course not Lix! But don’t you think it's time you fuck someone new?” She laughed as if they were

‘ Changbin, Changbin, Changbin, your.. Brother ‘ He repeated in his head

“I’ll take it , that I have your blessing” She playfully tapped his arm

Next thing they knew the bell had rung and Felix basically flew to his next class, Chemistry and it wasn’t a coincidence he was still thinking about the older boy who’s currently residing behind bars… then again when was he thinking of anyone else?

Luckily this class went by fairly fast, they had their unit 4 test… which Felix doesn't feel like he did the best on since he’s in a rush and was quite distracted.

He basically had a staring contest with the clock for the rest of class after he Christmas treed the shit out of that scantron. The final bell rang he was the first one out of the classroom. He ran to the Parking lot to meet Chan with his blood rushing with excitement to see the boy who consumed him and his dreams alone.

Felix was basically bouncing up and down in the car seat while, on there way to the station.

“Can you calm the fuck down , you’re acting like your on meth” Chan spoke out

“Sorry to disappoint, but Jisung wouldn't share” Felix jokes

Chan responded with a low laugh “A joke in poor taste” 

__________________________

“I’m here to see Seo Changbin” Felix told the officer

“Oh i remember you, your that twink he was with” The officer laughed

“Thanks...” Felix replied averting her eyes

A few minutes later and Felix was taken to the visitation room, windows lined up with hand phones.

Changbin came out on the other side Reaching for the phone on the wall so he could talk to the frail boy on the other side, Felix did the same. and oh what it did to Felix’s heart making it jump a little seeing him like that, both from sadness and from joy.

“Thanks for putting money in my commissary account” Changbin broke the silence 

“It was Jeongin” Felix started “I told him you’d snitch”

“What a fucking pussy” Changbin laughed

“So.. How long?” Felix’s eyes fluttered between the wall and Changbins heavy gaze

“ I don’t know Should be a 6 months right? Possibly only a few months for overcrowding or if i don’t do anything stupid” Changbin uttered

“Like what” Felix snapped

“Like stab that fat fucking Mick who keeps trying to steal my jello” Changbin yelled saying that last part with his gaze to the left

“Who me?” Felix eard a faint voice say

“Yah” Changbin responded

  
“Man fuck you” the voice responded

“Oh wouldn't you like to” Changbin continued shouting

“Uh i m-miss you” Felix said not making eye contact with the dark man across from him

“Say that again and i’ll rip your fuckin’ toungue outta your head” He recounted

Felix smiled and snickered, While Chanbin glanced around. Felix went to put his hand on the glass

“Take your hand off the fucking glass” Changbin deadpanned

Felix winced at Changbins cold words, they struck like a hot knife on sweet skin. But the only way he could respond was with a sweet but sorrowful smile. Felix always did try to see the good in people and there was no reason that Changbin should be happy. Afterall he was stuck behind bars in a sad cold place, a lonely place. Granted he did earn his way there, but he was born into a criminal family so there really was no hope for him. Felix just wanted to find the good, when he’s faced with Changbins raspful tone and bruising words he just wanted to focus on his happy smiles that sadly don’t last for long when they are playing GTA or walking downtown. He wanted to focus on how good he made him feel, so so good. Not everything is so sour as it seems. 

“Times up, visitation is over” the officer shouted while opening the heavy metal door back to the unit. 

“I guess this is goodbye” Changbin spoke. 

He was sad. This was sad 

“bye” Felix smoked weakly, waving while seeing Changbin leave. It was horrible watching him in this place, It’s hard to not dismiss his actions when you’re just so in love.  He made his way back outside through my metal detector and through the “dykish” guards as Chelsey always called them. She actually refused to visit her Brother and her father due to them, they just pat you down all too well. 

            _____________________

  “ready to go home?” Chan asked 

  “I don’t even know what home is at this point” Felix bursted pitifully 

“oh” Chan spoke while starting the car, he could only imagine how hard this was for his younger brother but at the same time he couldn’t wrap his head around why his brother was so in love with someone so awful and angry. “Felix I understand how you feel- actually not really, but why do you care so much about him? When he’s so terrible?” 

 “Because human souls aren’t pure” Felix retorted with his head pressed up against the car window. 

 “Yeah they aren’t, but that doesn’t mean you have to surround yourself with human waste. You have a chance to be something so why do you want to waste your life with him?” Chan asked 

 “so do you Chan, but you just throw it all away, you’re one of the smartest people I fucking know but won’t even do anything about it! You’d rather put all your time in whores around the block” Felix started growing louder 

Chan stayed quite 

“exactly, we are no different.” Felix sighed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed?? sorry if it sucked ass I'm having a hard time with figuring out the end game of all my fics so if you have any ideas on how you might wanna see this go lemme know!!!! I dont know if we should have cold Changbin who slowly falls for felix like How mickey did with ian or if i should just end it here,,,, anyways please leave kudos!!


	3. It's Time To Kill The Turtle (Or The Felix)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to update one Felix's birthday, my baby is finally 18 <3  
> but school is KICKING MY ASSSSSS!!!!!!!! Especially yearbook! 
> 
> anyways this chapter is a flashback, and basically explains how Felix landed himself in his sticky situation with Changbin  
> also eventually, maybe tonight i will be adding to the last chapter and editting it since it NO WHERE near fit my standards 
> 
> also unedited because i'm Reids_Jello, gotta stay on brand lol

___ 3 Months earlier____

It was no secret that Chelsey has has her eye on a certain Lee Felix in her algebra 2 class, however it was a big secret that Felix was batting for the same team.

Chelsey and Felix were friendly with each other in class, outside not so much given her family history. It was Friday afternoon, school had just let out. Felix was on his way to the corner store he works at, and somehow he didn't realize Chelsey had been following him for the last 3 blocks. He tried to brush her off, like maybe she's just taking a different route home?

No, nope she's definitely following him.

Five minutes after he clocked in Chelsey came into the store. He had just walked out from the backroom and Chelsey is standing at the register talking to Minho and it appreces that she’s buying a pack of cigarettes.

Felix takes a deep breath and starts stocking the shelves.

Chelsey snakes her way to the isle of the mini mart where all the cereal is. Felix is standing on a ladder paying o mind and rightfully doing his job.

She comes up behind him, giving him a light spank

“Heh, that’s sexual harassment-Oh” He shouts when chelsey comes into view

“Hey Felix!” She exclaimed

“Hey.. um Chelsey what are you doing here?” He asks

“I just wanted to thank you for coming to my rescue in A-push” Chelsey flirts

“Uh-it’s nothing pervs just gotta’ be put in their place right?” Felix jokes

“Yup, anyways do you want to maybe hang out after you get off?” She asks tucking her hair behind her ear giving him doey eyes

“I don’t t-” Chelsey cuts him off

“Perfect! I’ll wait for you!” She speaks after pancing away

“Fuck” He whispers to himself stepping off the ladder.  
It was a known fact Chelsey has had a crush on him since early middle school, and he’s probably one of the only boys on the southside who hasn’t be in her pants.

However, This is a problem… not to mention what her brother would do to him.. ( Not to mention he’s gay but if anyone knew that he’d get his ass kicked )

“Seo Chelsey? Really Lix?’ Minho teased

“It’s a long story” Felix sighed

“make sure to double bag it with that one” Minho laughed

Felix caught his face in the palm of his hand. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his sexuality, he personally didn’t have a problem or struggle with it, it was easy for him to let go and accept it. He just honestly didn’t feel the need to tell anyone… but then again if he wasn't southside i’m sure things would be different in this situation.  
_______________________________

 

“Mina?’ Chan called out while tossing a pebble at his girlfriend's window

“Chan! Why didn’t you just come through the front door?’” Mina asked after getting her window open

“I didn’t know if you had someone else in there with you” Chan jokes

“Nah Jeremy just left” She teases her boyfriend

“Ouch” Chan bellowed

“I’m kidding, However your father is having dinner with my mother downstairs” Mina deadpanned

“So now Jisung barking up the Irene tree?” Chan asked with a wink in order to add emphasis

“Ew, I’m coming down you better buy me dinner after insinuating that” She replied

“That was the Plan” Chan bowed

Mina responded by closing the window and grabbing her cardigan and rushing down the steps, to meet her boyfriend outside.  
____________________________________

“Hey” Chelsey exclaimed at the sight of Felix brushing out of the mini mart and pressumily on his way home with it being quarter to 10 on a school night.

“Oh-Fuck, you scared me Chelsey!” Felix shouted grabbing onto his heart

“I told you’d i wait for you! Have a little faith in me Fe” Chelsey replied boldly “So are we going back to your place?” She asked him while latched onto his arm, rewarding him with her infamous doey charcoal lined eyes.

“Uh-um-Sure” Felix responded unsure

“Off we go!” She let out with a giggle

Chelsey had a kind heart, Felix liked her… Just not in the way she wanted and he didn’t want to be caught in a off chance situation. It seems like all of this is by chance, they were all dealt a bad han, every single one of them. Chelsey, Changbin, Woojin, and possibly himself, even of he didn’t want to believe. Fucked for life. Chan was probably the only one who had a chance out and that’s the truth. Things could be different if they weren’t fucking southside!

4 blocks and they’d be home, Having Chelsey over wasn’t the problem. The Lee house afterall, was a free for all more often than not  
unless Jisung was on his ‘i’m going to give up booze and be a good dad’ kick which is fairly rare and on the off chance he falls into that it typically does last longer that 4 days or until Changbin’s dad, Jerry scores him a teener of coke.

 

Chelsey reached for Felix’s hand, with the crisp autumn air biting at their cold skin, he didn’t deny her touch. Maybe he should have- this was just the start.

They made it to the Lee house, the second shittiest house that the police are always at in the neighborhood! ( the Seo house coming in first place of course)

“So this is Sir Lee Felix’s House?” She trifled with him, bowing and her short skirt hiking up in the back

“Um-yeah” he coughed while opening the door

“Wow your house is so much nicer than mine!” She said matter of fact

“ well that’s not saying much “ he laughed with his hand caught on the back of his neck

“Well! I’ll order ya some pizza!” Chelsey jumped up and down in her words.

“Cool, I’ll get our books out” Felix states reaching into his bag

“Fuck no dude” she laughed grabbing for her phone ready to dial “I’ve had enough school for the day”

“This is exactly why you have a 2.5 GPA” Felix flatlined

“Shut the fuck up and let me order the goddamn pizza” she toyed

“Forget I said anything” Felix responded mining the lock of his lips with an imaginary key.

___________________

Moments later and the pizza had arrived, they dug in, but Chelsey was more interested in getting a slice of Felix opposed to the pizza on the table.

“You down to watch train to Busan?” Felix asked with a slice of pizza hanging out of his mouth

Chelsey took this a personal que to literally knock the slice out of his mouth, with one swift movement and getting on top of Felix.

She forcefully pressed her lips against his

“Chelsey stop” he spoke softly “seriously get off me” he started getting louder trying to push her off of him.

“It’s fine, I brought rubbers” Chelsey winked lowering herself down to her knees

“Chelsey I said stop” he shouted grabbing her wrist and shoving her off him, a little harder than he meant too. She fell onto the coffee table that was originally behind her

“What the fuck Felix?!” She screamed with tears at her eyes threatening to spill. He just stood there staring a her with weak eyes. She was a screaming and crying mess when she ran out of the house.

Within 7 minutes Chan comes running in

“What the fuck did you do to Seo Chelsey”

“N-nothing” Felix stand there flailing his hands with his zipper still down

“Why is she running out of OUR house screaming and crying then?” Chan asked with a disapproving tone before his eye slid down to Felix’s pants “Dude, you fucking didn’t! Did you?” Chan was basically screaming at this point

“NO! I-I didn’t, like she wanted to but that’s why she left” Felix stammered ‘do I tell him now’ a voice asked himself at the back of his brain

“so, she’s crying because you wouldn’t fuck her?” Chan tried to clarify in a confused tone

“Y-yes, Chan I-I’m gay” Felix said softly and shakily

“Wait like for real? Your not even bi?” Chan asked dumbfounded

“No? Why isn’t this more of a surprise that I like guys?” Felix asked slightly offended

“I mean I found your porn mags last month, I just assumed you swung both ways” Chan spoke

“Unfortunately not” Felix bellowed with a hint of question in his voice

_____________________

 

“LEE FELIX! You messed with the wrong girl!” Changbin’s Voice rang out like a bell in the shallow walls of the corner store, accompanied by Woojin as backup. While he wasn’t exactly the top of his classes or even close… The boy could score you crack on any street corner you passed.

“Shit!” Felix muttered, while running as fast as his feet would take him to the back room.

“Chelsey told us what you did! You piece of shit! Open up! Don’t Think your getting away with this!” Changbin went on and on.

Lucky Minho had Felix’s back. “He’s gone, that leads out into the back of the store” Minho lied to the two delinquents.

“Alley! Alley!” Changbin yelled, gesturing at Woojin to start running “Tell that prick he’s not getting out of this alive” Changbin grit his teeth at Minho. He ran out of the store, Minho made his way to the front doors to lock them, ut Changbin came running back. He bit his thumb and grabbed some gum from the counter and fled. That was typical Changbin for you although.

Minho headed back to the backroom after locking the doors. “Felix, they’re gone. You can come out now” He shouted through the metal door

“I swear Minho, I didn’t touch her!” Felix pleaded after opening the door

“I know” Minho said patting the Younger employees back in attempt to offer comfort. “Go home Felix, but be careful… i would drive you but Somin will kill me if i don’t watch the store” he explained

“It’s okay” Felix offered a weak smile “I’ll text Chan to pick me up”

_________________________________

 

“Fuck dude Changbin is after you?” Chan exasperated not detaching his eyes from the road ahead of him

“Yeah Chelsey Told her brother i raped her, When in actuality i refused to fucking touch her” Felix Replied in a shaky anxiety ridden tone

“Fuck dude, this is heavy shit. Like this is the fucking dirtiest boy in seoul!” Chan started laughing

“Fuck, i know” Felix said, punctuating with a face palm

“Well, there’s only one thing we can do now” Chan told his younger brother matter of fact

 

“Which is?” Felix aske realizing just how deep of shit he’s actually in

“Find Chelsey and get her to call her brother off” Chan spoke calmly “There’s a bat in the trunk”

“You are not seriously taking me to the fuckig Seo house” Felix deadpanned

“Lix, i like having you around and im not letting Changbin’s crummy ass do anything to you, your my best friend” Chan said sweetly shifting his eyes from the road to his brother sitting in the passenger's seat

“I’m your brother” Felix replied

“There you go again, runin a beautiful moment with fact” Chan laughed pretending to latch on to his heart and act hurt whilst making a left turn and heading to the Seo house.  
Chan pulled up by the house. “Felix she’s right there” Chan pointed to Chelsey sitting on her porch with a cigarette in hand.

“This is a suicide mission” Felix tells his older brother while getting out of the car

She took a long drag from her cigarette and flicked it off into the grass once Felix’s face came into her sight line.

“Fuck, get away creep!” She started yelling

“Chelsey! Let me talk please” Felix pleaded

“ I said leave me alone! I’ll tell Changbinnie you are bothering me again!” She threatened waving her phone in the air while backing away from him

“I’m gay!” He shouted stopping in his tracks

“What?” Chelsey questioned, taken back by his statement. She now began walking toward him

“I’m gay Chelsey! That’s why i wouldn't touch you. I’m sorry! Please please call your brothers off!” he rambled on, begging.

“So you lie boys? I thought you just um-found me ugly or something” Chelsey looked at her feet

“No! Your gorgeous… I’m just not programmed to think like that” Felix tried to explain to the frail girl in front of him

They continue walking with each other now. “How long have you known?” Chelsey asked, searching for answers and lifting her gaze to meet his

“Probably since G-dragon” He joked, giving her a wink “But for real, i think forever it was just natural for me”

“Oh.. well… y’know i can pretend to be your girlfriend so uh-people don’t like give you shit or suspect your gay” Chelsey proposed

“I’d like that” Felix smiled putting his arm around her

“ I would too” She returned the gesture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed!!  
> Please remember to leave kudos and comments!  
> have a amazing day/night


	4. SouthSide Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3/29/19 this along with Chapter two has been redone and is hopefully better this time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see??

“Where to?”  Chan asked after they all pack into his beat up old car. He looks back at Chelsey and his brother in the rear view mirror.

 

“Seoul RYDC” Felix answers with no punch in his tone, seriousness pierces.

 

“Got it pal” Chan responds winking at Chelsey

 

“Do not call me that” he responds

Changbin’s release date is today, 4 months has felt like forever but it was better than a year. Felix’s heart is jumping up and down and the butterflies in his stomach are panicking and the flowers are growing. Deep breaths.

 

The drive is long, and hour. Chan and Chelsey get down to some Twice they found on the radio while Felix is running in circle inside his head.

 

(  “Dance the night away eh? Lix?”

 

“Shut the fuck up Chan”

 

“Easy tiger”  )

  
The car ride felt like forever but that could just be because arriving there was all he was thinking about, not to mention how many times he asked “are we there yet?” Or “how much longer” (of course he whispered them into his brother ears not risking Chelsey knowing what’s really going on)  and chan responded with “can you just shut the fuck up?” 

 

“We are here” Chan announces while unbuckling his seatbelt

 

“Look! There is Changbin” Chelsey points.

 

Felix burns with blush.

 

They all exit the car and spot Changbin standing by two officers, still in cuffs.

 

“We are here for him” Chan tells the officers, taking lead. Felix just stands there with his eyes heavy on the ground.  

 

“What is your relation to the inmate?” The officer asks

 

“Sister” Chelsey speaks up “and i brought friends Changbin” her voice gets light while looking at her brother who is wearing a dark scowl

 

“Fuck you! Fuck you! And especially fuck you!” Changbin starts laughing while walking away from the RYDC

“Let’s get out of here before they put you back in” Felix giggles while attempting to put his arm around Changbin. He panics and tries to move away but eventually leans in. Felix’s heart gets light at the gesture, it’s like hope in his mind that they could turn into his daydreams but then he’s reminded that this is Seo fucking Changbin we are talking about! The dirtiest boy in all of the south side.                                      _______________________

“Chan someone's at the door!” Felix yelled, after taking a swig from his bottle.

“Of course i’ll answer it, Felix since there's nothing like day drinking!” Chan said  sarcastically  while opening the door

 

He opened the door and there stood a possibly middle aged lady in business attire, Probably just another woman he owns a lot of fucking money to 

 

“Im looking for Lee Han Jisung” She spoke

 

“ You and a lot of other people “ Chan responded trying to close the door in her face, which she merely stopped with her witch toe heels

 

“Are you his son Lee Bang Chan?” she asked while looking down into a manila folder  

 

“Uh - yeah, how do you know that?” Chan spoke, turning around to look at Felix

“Is your brother uh- Lee Felix home? She pushed Chan to the side and continued to enter the house. “I’m  Laura Tuan and im with Defax. One of the teachers at your school reported possible abuse in the home, and now your father isn’t even home so i’m afraid we have to take you into state custody, until he can vouch for himself against all  allegations  Of child abuse and now neglect” She spoke sternly

 

“What the fuck” Felix shouted

 

“I’m sorry boys, but you have to come with me” She spoke

 “Come on lix, it’s going to make it so much worse if we fight it” Chan exasperated

”oh fuck no” Felix laughed, clearly pissed off

The two boys followed the Defax worker to the van parked in front of their house.  

 “We are never getting out, Jisung does not give a fuck” Felix rasped into his brother ear

“Like basically...” Chan responded

 

“Have you two been in the system before?” Laura asked

 

“Yup, Felix and I will go to whatever crazy family since you guys like to keep family members together” Chan spoke confidently from experience

 

“True, but this time you and Felix are too old to go into foster care and will be placed in a level 3 Group home” she told them

 

“Level 3? What the fuck? That’s for kids who lit there house on fire!” Felix shouted from the back seat with wide eyes

 

Laura pulled into the group home, and boys exited the car where they met with the director, who quickly took them into the room for intake. On there way into the office Felix whipped out to type  “I’m in a fucking group home” Felix to changbin as fast as possible could. 

 

“Ahem” He cleared his throat before speaking, or maybe he was just being rude.  “your phones and wallets will be in my care until you can prove your worthy of having them in your possession” He spoke

”no offense but who are you” Chan spoke spiteful 

“I’m director Wallace, I run this joint” he smiled passive aggressively 

 

“Um I have a job I need to get too” Felix interrupted 

  “That’s cute but you’ll just have to wait until the intake process is over. Oh and curfew is 9 o’clock and if you are not back by then i’ll contact mrs. Laura and you’ll be in some deep deep shit.” Wallence returned while wearing a shit-eating grin.

After intake Chan went to ‘look for a job’  which really meant find the nearest payphone and call Chelsey While Felix went to his.  

Chan walked his brother to the corner store, while searching for a pay phone. 

      _________________

 

“Chelsey?”

“Who is this and how do you know my name?” She asked sternly with anxiety in her voice 

“It’s me Chan, calm down. I’m calling you from a payphone” he responded 

“Why are you calling me on a payphone? Are we still on for tonight?” she asked 

“Fuck yes! But I need you to help me find Jisung, I know he’s with Irene but Mina and I broke up and it’s - y’know” He rambled on 

“Wait- what is going on Chan?” She asked in a irrational tone 

 “Felix and I are living in a group home, Defax caught wind of or ‘neglect’” Chan did air quotations even if she couldn't see them, she heard it in his voice,

 “Fuck dude, i’ll get on that, but won’t you guys get in trouble especially you if you’ll be at my place and not there?” Chelsey said

 “Don’t worry, I’ve already found my way around that. I slipped some guys a few bucks to check us in” He replied

“and how do you know they will actually do it?” She asked 

“because it’s Minho and Namjoon” he laughed 

“oh my god, really?” She chuckled 

“yeah” he exasperated 

“anyways I’ll get on finding Irene and Jisung” she stated 

“Thank you, you’re an amazing bitch” Chan laughed

 “Thanks? Love ya ‘n’ Like ya” Chelsey said before ending the call. Chan pressed the phone to his chest feeling his heartbeat. Chelsey truly was a life saver, and possibly the only kindhearted Seo.   

       _____________________ 

Meanwhile at the minimart, Changbin was waiting outside the establishment, smoking a cigarette and waiting for Felix. “Changbin?” Felix wondered with his eyes squinted

 

“Mhm, Chelsey called me and told me what happened with Defax… so i thought I’d come see you, plus I am pretty hungry, so I was thinking we could go steal from the deli across the street” Changbin spoke with a smile in his voice but reluctant to make eye contact

 

“Shit, Chan always has a plan I guess, and no you just go out of jail, if you want food you aren’t paying for it. I’m not letting you go back there” Felix laughed walking into the mini mart with Changbin following him behind

 “So by ‘paying’ do you mean we take money from the register and you buy me food” he giggled

“wow, Changbin the comdian. So funny” Felix deadpanned.  

“Well- anyways Group homes are ass -” Changbin started

 

“Yeah , they have me in a level 3” Felix interrupted

 

“Level 3? Isn't that for kids who try to rip their parents faces off?” Changbin holds off a laugh

 

“Yeah” Felix speaks with a snap walking to the back of the store

 

“Let me help you with that” Changbin mutters, ad Felix would gush at the gesture but quite frankly he’s too pissed to do any of that

 

“Um... Thanks“ he responded, slightly taken off guard by Changbins good mood 

 

“I was actually wondering if you wanted to stay over at my place? It’s empty with my dad in jail and Woojin on a bender..” Changbin asked while standing awkwardly

 

“Was i just invited to a sleepover at Seo Changbins house” Felix laughed

“Fuck you is what you were invited too” Changbin laughed while helping Felix stocked the shelves and he returned it with a smile. This was nice, really nice. Like yeah he was just put into a group home but in this moment when Changbin’s bright smile and kind laugh he couldn’t let himself be angry. This was nice. 

   “I think I could take you up on that offer of the deli right about now” Felix peered up

  “Yay!” Changbin clapped “I’ll hit the register!”

  “No you won’t. We are buying the food with my hard earned money” Felix smiles 

 “or my old drug dealing money?” Changbin offered

 “or that too” Felix nodded        

Felix started to walk to the front of the store, grabbing the keys to the store and locking up before him and Changbin headed over to the deli across the street. It’s kind of unbelievable, not to be self deprecating but normally Felix is just a warm body to Changbin, but now they are out about to have lunch. Thats nice.

 “Um-what do you want?” Felix asked when they walked in the shop.

“I can order for myself, I’m not a bitch boy” Changbin spit

“oh” Felix spoke softly forming a little “O” shape with his thick lips.

“Wow, I’m just kidding with the whole bitch boy thing” Changbin laughed while hitting felixs arm playfully.

  When it was the boys turn in line, they both ordered. Changbin getting a grilled chicken sandwich, and Felix got a veggie sub. Changbin paid 3/4ths of the total with his dealing money and Felix paid the 3 dollars that Changbin couldn’t cover. The two boys sat in the back of the shop enjoying their means. This is nice.                _________________________________

 

“Chan is picking me up, so he knocks let him in please!” Chelsey shouted at Changbin while running through the house, shoving a earing in

 

“I thought he was in a group home?” Changbin responds not looking up from his phone.

 

“Shut up Changbin” Chelsey shouted

 

**Lix**

So chan and chelsey = empty Seo house?

 

**Me**

Yup ;)

 

Changbin looks up from the screen with a subtle but wide smile broken out across his face.

“What the fuck are you smiling at?” Chelsey asked, before his phone went off again. A text from Felix

**Lix**

Chan just left-

 

“Nothing- oh well- chans here” Changbin spoke nervously with a added stutter when he heard a knock at the door. Chelsey squealed and made way for the door.

 

**Me**

So did Chelsey

**Lix**

I am on my way

 

Felix typed with his heart feeling light and airy in his head, the same feeling Changbin has become a custom too.

Felix left, walking 2 blocks to get to Changbin. It was weird because Changbin  felt dizzy just thinking about seeing the younger boy. “It’s just fucking” he kept telling himself - the same thing Felix tells himself to warn off his lovestruck thoughts.

 

Honey skin,

Starry cheeks,

And winter hair

 

next thing he knows he’s standing outside Changbin’s door. Knocking on his door

 

Changbin basically darted to the door at the sound

Felix was greeted with hungry eyes, and before he realized it, his lips were on his. _His lips were on his._ The older boy grasped his hair back in attempts to deeping the quickly turned intense kiss, pushing back and they crashed so hard into the wall Chan’s baseball bat flew off it.

 

“Fuck” Felix breathed feeling dizzy, while he took in Changbin’s golden skin and leather hair. “ What was that for?” He asked

 

“I don’t know, but is it bad if i want to do it again?” he asked with smoldering eyes

 

Felix took control of the kiss, dragging the older boy to the couch.

Skin to skin, legs tangled and caught on  lips.

 

**_You are all velvet shadows and charcoal lines_ **

 

Even if Changbin was shorter, he was stronger, he ended up flipping them over on the couch with one swift turn and continued working on Felix’s neck

 

“Holy fuck” Felix grunted with his head back as Changbin moved down to bite on his neck, trying to find his sweet spot which he soonly found under his jaw

 

“Mm” Felix moaned while trapping Changbin on top of him with his legs

 

“Fuck Felix” Changbin lifted his head up to eye level with the younger blonde boy

 

“Fuck Changbin” He laughed

 

“You’ve ruined the mood with laughing at me” Changbin sits up while his golden skin is lit on fire with rapid blush spreading across his face. Felix returned with a frown

 

“But that was our first kiss” Felix started getting shy

 

“it was more than a kiss Lix, and No it wasn't” Changbin denied

 

“Yeah it was” Felix defended

 

“Well it doesn't count because we are _not_ dating” Changbin deadpanned

 

Felix hear dropped and broke at his words, but it was simply the truth. “I guess you’re right Seo” Felix coldly called him by his last name before getting up

 

“Sorry if i made you feel weird, but it’s true we aren’t” Changbin spoke

 

“I know, and that’s why it hurts” felix started “because we aren’t” Felix spoke looking Changin dead in the eyes

 

“What” Changbin asked sternly while inching close to Felix

 

“This, you- i mean us it means more to me than you’ll ever know” Felix told him softly "i'm sick of what we have, just sex with no feelings behind it! i want more Changbin! i want kissing in the rain and to be able to share a cigarette with you! I want to be able to tell you i love you without being scared of getting punched in the goddamn face” Felix got quite at the last part before rushing out the door

Changbin starred at him with blank eyes

"Fine, I was dumb to think you might actually start to care about me! It's not like i got you out of jail, and literally thrown away everything away for you!” Felix shouted with tears streaming down his face and darted out the door

 

“Felix come back!” Changbin called trying to chase after him, Felix running away in while the sun was setting was one of the most beautiful things changbin has ever seen , or that’s what he thought before he remembered he as the reason Felix was running

 

“I don't want to love you” Changbin whispered to himself “But i do”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt edit and i kinda rushed this chapter so i deeply apologize! although i did want to have jisung get his kids back this chapter but i like the way i ended it and it gives room for Changbin to redeem himself next chapter even if Felix was being over dramatic so next chapter won't be out for a bit but it should be long as hell 
> 
> also remeber to leave kudos!!!!


	5. Hurricane Sorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut makes me uncomfortable so I tried to skip out on it but it there if you squint reeeeaaaallly hard. don’t expect me to edit xoxo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sad, Gallavich is end game, Noel and Cam have finally said goodbye to their characters ( mickey and Ian) and I’m actually fucking sobbing
> 
> Also I went to pride last weekend and it was amazing?? Watch POSE and listen to Start Line by 3 racha ;(

> It was Changbin’s time to make things right after how things ends last night.

His heart broke at Felix’s words, but he couldn't let him rupture his badass hard exterior.

However there was something about how Felix looked at him with broken empty tear glistening eyes. You could see the universe threw his golden eyes and even if its taken Changbin this long to realize it , he might of just fucked up the only good thing he had going for him. “I’m fucked for life anyways” Changbin whispered to himself while looking up at the ceiling, pondering his next move

“Woojin give me the keys” Changbin shouted after scurrying out of his room, slamming the door and slightly tipping his “stay the FUCK OUT” sign he has hanging on the door.

Woojin tossed him the keys to the family heist car, since along with being a Seo… home invasions are very elementary, but that’s besides the point.   
Changbin headed out the door and hopped in the car and start dialing his sisters number

“Chelsey, Chan and Felix are in a group home right? He asked with a rush of tone

“ yeah why “

“ they are in there because Jisung is MIA right?”

“ yeah why”

“ okay thanks sis” and Changbin hung up the phone, knowing exactly where to go

The Alibi Room

If the lights were on in that place you could be sure to find Lee Han Jisung sitting close to the bar with a beer and cigarette in hand.

So that was Changbin’s plan, find Jisung. He pulled into the neighborhood bar, and busted through the doors Like he owned the goddamn place, just to see the one and only, infamous Lee Han Jisung doing exactly what was mentioned previously.

He didn’t even bat and eye at Changbin, until he approached him, and ripped the cigarette right out of his hand and started pursuing his own lips around the filter

“Hey!” Jisung shunted drunkenly

“When’s the last time you’ve see Felix or Chan?” Changbin asked

“Uh- what are you talking about? Just this morning I was packing them their lunch” Jisung spoke foolishly

Laughter could be heard in the background

“ that’s bullshit and you know it!” Baekhyun added “ but- Changbin what is all this about?” He asked

“Felix and Chan were taken into Defax custody a couple of days ago, because they suspect neglect, which this clearly proves they did it rightfully” Changbin explained

“ What the fuck Jisung?” Baekhyun shouted and poured out Jisung’s beer “ Go get your fucking kid back!”

For the first time, Jisung didn’t put up a fight… maybe he’s realizing how badly he’s fucking up- actually probably not…. Jisung followed Changbin out to his car and hopped in

“Do you have an attorney?” Changbin asked

“Yeah, she usually helps me with my workman’s comp” Jisung replied and gave Changbin instructions to her office

“Wow okay, I’ll just shut up and drive….”

Meanwhile, during the time Changbin has been driving Felix’s father to the attorney’s office he heard his phone buzz but didn’t check it until the upcoming red might, because he may drive while strung out on meth but will not text while driving.

Woojin texted. “Dad’s out” and immediately after another text came through reading “good luck”

Memories of the night when he and his father were both arrested came flooding back.

“Fuck” Changbin shouted and banged on the steering wheel

“Turn fucking right- I don’t care about the gay affair your having with my son” Jisung spoke out, peering over Changbin’s shoulder

“Wait- you knew” Changbin asked growing annoyed

“Yeah, you get a text saying ‘good luck’ and my kids always limping when he gets back from the Seo house… did you think that I would assume my gay ass son likes getting beat? Because trust me he cries when I do it” Jisung laughed like he didn’t just admit to pending abuse charges

“Did you just admit to neglect?” Changbin asked ignoring everything else Felix’s father had just told him

“yeah I did, now turn fucking right” Jisung shouted

Changbin stayed silent, in slight shock and contained driving, he dropped Jisung off at the place and gave him his number In Case he needed help on getting his kids back ( more like force)

He texted Woojin

 **Changbin**   
Is dad at home?

 **Woojin**   
Yeah and he’s looking for u

  
 **Changbin**   
FUCK!

  
 **Woojin**   
Just come back, you can’t fight   
him, it’s not like your with that   
kid for home than a desperate   
fuck anyways

Changbin frowned when he read that text, he wasn’t sure if he was more scared of getting pistol whipped or completely losing Felix, had he lost the chance of getting him back?

He had no choice but to go home and come face to face with his father sooner or later… it was inevitable, plus it would probably be much worse if it was later …. Changbin turned his car around and drove back to the south side, dreading what is to come.

Within 10 minutes Changbin was parallel parking outside his house. He pulled out his phone, held it in his hands and walked up to the front door. He took a deep breath with some of what was about to happen in mind.

One more breath and his hand was on the knob.

He walked in, and saw his dad calmly sitting on the couch- like he was waiting for him?

His father looked behind him at Woojin, “ Bring the Thai girl in” he said, Woojin gave Changbin sad eyes while mouthing ‘I’m sorry’

In truth, the Seo house was a prison, and anything else was an escape.

“What?” Changbin asked

“ I don’t know if your still seeing that blonde aids monkey, but Sorn is going to fuck the faggit outta’ you kid” His father spoke with nothing but emptiness behind his eyes

Changbin gulped, and grabbed his phone and quickly typed out

‘I can’t see Felix anymore, but please god get your kids back, if it’s not for them, or for me, be the fabulous narcissistic you are and do it for you’ he sent ,before his father ripped the phone from his hand and threw it down onto the floor.

“Sit down kid!” His dad shouted As a woman with long Brown hair, pale skin, and way too much eyeliner accompanied by clown red lips walked out.

“This is Sorn” his father introduced the Thai girl.

Jerry left the room, and Sorn started stripping Changbin of more than just his Pride, first the hoodie tied around his waist and then his jeans.

A single tear fell from his eyes as Sorn got in top of him, he tried to think of Felix, but in retrospect I can’t tell you if that was for the better or worse, if that made him cry harder or if that was from the dooming heat from above.

When he finally pushed The frail blonde boy from his thoughts and was finished internally scolding himself for what he was he turned the girl over and began to take lead.

He had to replace her face with the younger boy if the two in order to end the hell he was convinced he brought on himself, like he had a choice on who to love and made the wrong decision in his and his father's head.

————————————

  
“What do you mean I have to get Jenny’s signature to get my fucking kids back?” Jisung screamed at his attorney

“Jenny still has custody, so her signature is needed for this to be brought to court and for the children to be released into your care” she told him

“Fuck, if I find Jenny does this have to be brought to court?” Jisung asked

“I can try to find a way out if it most likely yes” she started “ unless, I can try to pull some strings and get you signed up for multiple parenting classes as well as having you abide by probation rules without really being on probation if that makes sense” The attorney tried to explain

Jisung stared at her with blank eyes

“Like, consenting to random drug screens”

“Fuck no” Jisung interrupted

“Looks like your not getting your kids back” she deadpanned while closing the case folder

“Fine- what if I find Jenny and agree to the classes and drug screenings” Jisung pleaded

“Then you might have a shot, as long as you don’t admit to yourself being the causes of the bruises on Lee Bang Chan’s face and body”

“I did no such thing” Jisung said with a punctuated swing if the lips

“Already okay… sign here” She handed him a paper “ Find Jenny, bring her back here and I’ll sign you up for those classes and Chan an Felix should be out of Defaxs care and back into your own in no time” The attorney spoke matter of factly

“Great-“ Jisung responded barley while grabbing a pen.

Once Jisung Left the office, he pulled his phone out of his coat pocket and texted Mina’s mom, Irene and begged her to impersonate Jenny to help him get his kids back

“ I’m not doing anything for you! Not after what my daughter witnessed and not after what you did to me!”

“Irene, but it’s not for me, It is for Felix and Chan! Do you want to see those two intelligent wonderful boys rot in a group home? As if they don’t already have it bad enough?” Jisung always had a special talent for guilt trips and bullshiting his way through things, and this was no exception.

“Fine, but only because you have wonderful children and I have no idea how such a sour person could give life to two amazing kids” Irene spoke admirably

“yeah, so if you could come over to sign this paper and take parenting classes with me etc” Jisung continued

“Anything for the Lee boys” Irene spoke with a sudden smile, even if Jisung couldn’t see it

______________________

A total of 3 days have passed, Today is court, for Lee Han Jisung and Irene posing as Jenny, blonde wig and all.

Jisung hadn’t spoke to Changbin, only seen him briefly around town with his hands buried in his pockets and cuts in his face. Looking like he’s lost anything good he has ever had in his life

Meanwhile The two adults were drug tested before they packed into the courtroom

“Hey, Jisung wasn’t the last time I had to piss in a cup when I was pregnant with Felix? Oh gosh that seems like so long ago” Irene spoke to try and really sell the part as Jenny

Jisung rolled his eyes a responded with a simple “mhm”

After the drug screening, which Jisung miraculously passed, they headed into the Courtroom.

They went up to the stand, Felix and Chan were sat in the back wearing handcuffs, they also had Chan in leg shackles since they were placed in level 3.

Things went by fast, Jisung’s attorney did most of the talking- and if he was honest he didn’t understand half of what was being said or going on… at least the kids left with him? Chan basically tore his father is a new asshole but he kinda had the right too given the past week.

“Um Felix” Jisung said and showed Felix the text from Changbin, he was still angry but deep down his heart broke- Changbin is the main reason he’s out it looks like.

What happened that he can’t see Him? Was he wrong for walking out? Felix kept asking himself does Changbin actually care? That’s how all this started in the first place, Felix was too fed up with his coldness and left.   
What does he mean “I can’t see Felix anymore”

Felix grabbed his phone, pulled up Changbin’s contact and called him twice, straight to voicemail each time.

“Fuck”

He next pulled up Seo Chelsey’s and sent her a text reading “I need to see you, what the fuck is up with Changbin… also I’m out, ion know if Chan told you but we’re home” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I feel like I’m prelonging and I’m kinda mad about it... but please comment and leave kudos!! <3


	6. Chan interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, if your sensitive please proceed with caution throughout this chapter, it’s kind of heavy. 
> 
> Also I worked very hard on his chapter, but I didn’t read/ edit all of it because se I hate myself and if I did I probably would never publish it! Teehee also shoutout to my homie Michaela who wrote the smut for this chapter because I’m too uncomfortable to- like to the point where I refuse to even read what she wrote haha so hopefully it’s not too terrible xox I apologize for including smut abt these babies but it’s based off of shameless and adds to the plot... I still hope y’all like it

“What the fuck” Felix screamed to the ceiling, Chan came rushing down to see what’s wrong.

The boys barely been home for an hour and Jisung’s already god knows where and Felix is drunk sobbing.

“This looks oddly familiar” Chan spoke seeing his brother sat on the kitchen floor with a case of old style and tears sliding off his cheeks “what’s wrong?”

Felix let out a inhuman angry sob and flashed Chan the screen. Changbin’s contact with a banner across it reading ‘Sorry this message cannot be sent’

“He blocked you?” Chan asked with an irrational tone  
“I guess so” Felix wiped his eyes

“I’ll be back” Chan spoke while getting up and walking out the door

“Where are you going?” Felix called out

“I’m getting Chelsey and we are sorting shit out” he responded before the door slammed

Felix shook his head and let out a sad laugh before he grabbed the neck of his bottle and downing it as his tears spilt Forth like water from a broken dam.

______________________

Chan sped up to the Seo house and banged on the door with anger piercing through his veins, he didn’t have a real reason to be upset- it just burned to see his brother like that, weirdly like Jisung, the man who’s fucked then both over more ways to count.

He saw the text off his dad’s phone, Changbin cares. He just won’t fight, but can you really expect him to?

The door opened, it was Mr. Seo… their father

“The fuck do you want?” He spat

Chan could see Changbin in the background with bruises on his face, he Averted his eyes at the sight of Bang Chan. “I’m here for Chelsey” Chan responded whilst giving that dumb douchey boyish smile he usually does

“Hm” He responded before shouting for his daughter “Chelsey! Some douchebag is here for you”

Chelsey came down the stairs and out of the house

“Walk with me” Chan spoke, she complied and they headed back to the Lee’s home.

“Ight, what the problem?” Chelsey asked

“Felix is a fucking mess” Chan told her

“How does that involve me?” She asked “oh fuck I didn’t mean it to sound so bad”

“Wait you don’t know do you?” Chan spoke in shock

“Know what?” Chelsey asked confused

“Nothing,,, just please help me with Felix he’s getting sad drunk on the kitchen floor” Chan pleaded

“O-okay” Chelsey responded while on their into his house

“Fuck what’s his deal man?” Chelsey speaks immediately when seeing the state Felix is in. She looks at Chan and says “ I don’t know how to help-actually I have hair dye in my car”

“What is hair dye going to do?” Chan asked slightly annoyed

“Well- when I get like this is helps to change something about myself” She explains

“Fine go get it” Chan tells her and she leaves.

“Chelsey will be back man, but you’ve gotta tell her about you and Changbin if we want her to help” Chan explains

“I know” Felix sniffles

“Okay, and seriously I’m cutting you off Chan laughs while trying to lighten the mood, he takes what’s lefts of the case and puts it back in the fridge

___________________

When Chelsey returns she sees Chan huddled on the floor with his brother. “ Alright Felix, whenever I’m feeling sad and drunk like you clearly are right now I like to make a change to my appearance so I’ve got strawberry blonde hair dye or neon green, which one?”

“Strawberry blonde” he replies giving no thought

“Alright, come on’” she offers her hand and Hella sit him in a chair

“Chelsey, what’s up with Changbin?” Felix aaks trying to be nonchalant as she’s emptying the dye box

“He’s busy, with the wedding” she speaking calmly

“Wedding?” He asks sounding almost panicked

“Yeah he’s getting married to some Thai hooker” Chelsey speaks while mixing up the dye and before she knows it Felix is crying again

“Does he love her?” He asks while wiping away tears, you can hear his heartbreak in his voice and Chan is by the sink feeling nothing but sympathy for his broken brother

“I mean she’s knocked up- most guys would leave when hearing the bitch they fucked is pregnant so do what you will with that” she laughed while stirring up the dye

“I need to move the fuck on” he whispered

“What” Chelsey stopped what she was doing

“Nothing, I just need to stop holding on to something that will never happen” Felix gave her a weak smile as she continued to coat his head with the ginger dye

“Well the wedding is Friday, I assume Chan will be my date” Chelsey looks over at him with a wink

“Shit, that’s tomorrow” Felix spat

“Uh yeah totally, I don’t think Felix wants to go though” Chan responds

“Oh no way, I’m fucking going” Felix Stands up

“But don’t you have that thing?” Chan shouts tries to stop him, knowing he’s just going to get hurt

Chelsey gives the two an off putting look

Felix rolls his eyes “I’m going” and he walks up  
Stairs with the cap covering his newly dyed hair

Chelsey moves closer to Chan “I don’t know what his deal is but he’s losing his shit, man” Chelsey speaks while grabbing the beer from Chan’s cold hands and taking a swig

“Yeah tell me about it, I mean there’s stuff you don’t know which I’ll wait for Felix to sort his shit out tell you himself but I’m not sure if it’s just that or something else” Chan explains looking for answers

“I just don’t want to watch Felix fuck up his life like Changbin is fucking up his” she tells him

“Yeah, Felix actually has a chance out” Chan looks to the side

“Just because we were born here doesn’t mean we have to end up here” Chelsey say while pecking Chan on the cheek

“Chelsey the timer went off!” Felix shouts with a subtle slur in this voice from the booze

“I guess I gotta go rinse his hair out” she smirks

“Have fun” Chan laughs and walks outside for a cigarette

Meanwhile upstairs Seo Chelsey now has Felix bent over the bathtub, hot water running and her fingers combing through his hair

“This hair color is going to looks totally hot on you!” Chelsey enthuse

Felix smiles even though she can’t see his face “It better” his voice is muffled from the running water

“Okay I think I washed it all out” she taps his back as a sign for him to get up. When Felix lifts himself up from the tub he grabs his hair, brushing it to the side while making his way to the mirror to take a look.

“Oh my god” he squeals “this is so dope!”

“I’m glad you like it Fe” Chelsey laughed

“Thank you so much for doing this Chelsey” He hugged her with his words, feeling tears on his cheeks again without a clue of why

“It’s nothing dude, also are you sure you are going to be able to go to the wedding?” Chelsey tried to break the ice and dig deeper into this situation

“Chelsey, I’m going” he smiled “now let’s go show Chan my new hair” Felix continued laughing till they reached the bottom of them steps.

Something was off, not sure if it was just the booze causing this drunken giddy haze or something else…. Chelsey didn’t pay much mind and followed him down stairs and outside to show Chan.

Felix walked out the back door and plopped down next to his brother, he grabbed what was left if the cigarette from Chan’s cold hands and took a long drag whilst gesturing to his hair.

“Fuck, Chelsey you did a great job” Chan acted surprised while looking up at her, wearing a sweet smile

“No shit, I’m Seo Chelsey what did you expect?” She laughed cockily while pointing to herself

“Do you think Changbin will like it?” Felix asked acting nonchalant, not fully aware of what he was asking

“I’m sure everyone will, you look great” Chan tried to pull away from the ‘Changbin’ topic especially with Chelsey being in the dark on the subject. She of curse shot them both a weird look, which Felix ignored.

__________________

“You gotta get up at some point, man” Chan spoke while tossing a book on Felix’s bed

“I can’t stop thinking about this fucking wedding” Felix exasperates while rubbing his eyes, trying to get up.

“Last time I’m going to say it, stay as far away from that fucking car wreck as humanly possible!” Chan vocalized

“Can you help me set up?” Chelsey walked into the boys shared room in a nothing but a towel, asking Chan.

“Nah I gotta get to Irene’s to help out with Mina, I’ll be at the wedding though” Chan pecked Chelsey on the cheek, she greeted him with a displeased frown

“I’ll help” Felix verbalized

“You sure? Are you feeling okay Lix?” She asked wondering if he’s hung over from the previous night

Felix stood up, providing no verbal answer. “damn, I did an amazing job on your hair!” She basically sung running her finger through his hair.

“Hey wait dude, aren’t you sick?” Chan shouted after him, in a way to excuse him from it. that wedding can only end in two ways A) a drunk fight or most likely B) tears.

Felix returned his question with a cold glare and left with Chelsey. “Chelsey lets go” Felix shouted louder than he maybe should had, his voice hitting a lower octave.

“Let me get dressed first” she laughed and headed back into the boys bathroom where her clothes still were.

Felix was down stairs making coffee after literally throwing on a pair of black skinny jeans, along with a purple button down shirt, and a grey sweater going over with the collar popping out from under.

Chelsey came down dressed in a short black dress, She watched Felix rub his eyes till they were peach pink.

“Are you okay? Chan and I are worried about you lix” she spoke softly reaching for his shoulder

Felix pulled away immediately “Yeah, I’m fucking fine, stop pretending your my mom”

“Fine dickwad- follow me to the fucking car” she snapped

“That’s more like it” Felix laughed and patted her back

Chelsey couldn’t help but find it odd, how Felix could switch from heavily Agitated to sweet in calm within a second. She tried to ask Chan about it and he’d either counter act it with ‘he’s fine’ , ‘ Felix isn’t like mom’ or just flat out ignore it.

After Chan heard the front door slam from up stairs, and Felix’s cold voice no longer echoed against the wall, He hopped in the shower to wash away all of worries and stress for about 10 minutes before they all return and simmer back deep into his skin.

He turned the knob to the right, and let the hot water massage his boney shoulders while his mind wandered. He reached for his coconut scented shampoo and began to scrub through his brown curls. “FUCK” chan nearly screamed with wide eyes ‘there’s no way i can go see mina- that wedding is going to be a fucking shit-storm’ chan ran through his thoughts. He quickly finished up in the shower and almost literally threw himself out and jumped into a pair of black jeans along with a black button up and a white tie to complete the look.

______________

“Why does Chan need to go over to Irene’s in the first place? I thought him and Mina weren’t even talking!” Chelsey scowled as the two were setting up chairs- although Felix was, as it seemed…. more than distracted.

“Felix, are you even listening to me?” She sighed

“Not really, um do you know where Changbin is?” Felix asked, shoving his hands deep in his pockets and latching on to his plump lips with his teeth.

“He’s in the back room-“ Felix cut her off “uh thanks” he responded

“You know eventually you’ll have to tell me what going on” She shouted after him

Felix ignore her and contained to speed into the back room. He barged in just to see the man he’s been looking for with a newly lit cigarette held between his teeth.  
Changbin is in a black suit with a red rose attached to the blazer. Felix gives him beyond hurt eyes before speaking

“What the fuck do you want-“ Changbin started before noticing Felix’s hair “what the fuck did you do to your hair?”

“I changed it” Felix deadpanned

“Obviously- I mean fucking why?” Changbin asked

“Why do you care Seo? You call me a punk for wanting a boyfriend or whatever- but your going to marry a woman who screws guys for a living?” Felix Crescendos on the L.

“Who gives a shit? It’s a fucking piece of paper Felix!”  
Changbin growled while giving soft eyes- as if to say I’m sorry but his mouth saying something else.

“Not to me” Felix said with his voice getting so soft it was almost inaudible. Changbin gave him a cold stare in which Felix responded with a simple stare saying ‘I’m sorry I can’t do this’ and tried to walk away

“Felix wait” Changbin sighed “just because I’m getting hitched doesn’t mean we can’t still bang”

Felix has never spun around so fast before in his life. “Is that all I fucking am to you? A quick fuck?” Felix screamed pushing and banging on Changbin’s chest “is that all I fucking am? You tell me you can’t see anymore but now all you want is to use me to get off? What the fuck is wrong with you” Felix rambled with steaming tears running down his cheeks

Changbin powerfully wrapped his arms around the crying boy and pecked his cheek “I’m sorry- everything ended up this way. I want to be with you like that but I have no choice” Changbin moved his lips slowly down Felix’s neck and ghosted over his Adam’s apple. “Changbin stop” Felix tried to suppress a moan when he began to suck a deep mark onto the bump in his throat. Changbin loved Felix’s neck, especially his Adam apple, the way it bobbed when he spoke deeply.

 

Changbin was now pushing the younger into a table beside the exit door. Changbin in one swift movement lifted Felix into a sitting position on the table with barley moving his lips away from the supple skin in front of him. Felix started biting into the older boy’s shoulder when his hands slipped from his neck down to his waistband and dipped into his boxers. Felix bit down into the fabric of Changbins blazer to muffle the sounds he didn’t wants the attendees hearing- especially not Chelsey. “Mm” Felix let out a moan with his cheeks lit in fire now. “Felix get up” Changbin said with his voice lowering a octave. Changbin stripped Felix of his Jeans and took off his vest, unbuttoning his shirt and then his own. Changbin moved the purple silky shirt to the side revealing Felix’s milky skin along with two petal colored buds. Felix shivered at his touch on the sensitive skin. Changbin leaned down, pushing Felix down on the table and grazed his lips against the rose colored buds laid on the blondes chest. “Ha-ah” Felix tried to hold in a moan.

“Your always so sensitive” Changbin smirked. Felix bit his lip in return, pulling up and pushing Changbin fastly against the wall behind him. “You’re too slow Binnie” Felix whined. He basically fell to his knees- against Changbins clothed thigh as he tried getting the zipper on his dress pants undone. He yanked down his pants along with his boxers allowing Changbin’s semi to pop free . “Shit- I forgot how big you are” Felix tried to speak seductively while licking his lips.

“No offense but how do y-you go from pissed, to tears, to horny so fast?” Changbin asked before Felix leaned into start kitten licks to the tip , Felix quickly sucked the head in and bobbed before pulling off with a lewd pop

“I dunno” he responded with a deep raspy voice before continuing his work on Changbin’s member. He rubbed his tongue against the slit rewarding a high pitched growl from his partner- which is much different from what he’s used to hearing out of the older. Felix continued to swallow around him, moaning himself to add vibrations- you’d think he was palming himself underneath with the sounds he’s making. “fuck” Changbin let out a string of profanities and sometimes the boy on his knees name. Felix could taste the salty precum on his tongue, a tell-tale sign Changbin was close even if he wasn’t vocalizing it as much as the younger would have liked. Changbin’s breath got heavier as Felix started sucking on deeper- and tonguing the underside of his cock. Changbin basically doubled over with a loud moan shooting down the younger throat- Felix didn’t stop. He kept sucking until Changbin was spent. Moaning more and pushing Changbin deeper into the back of his throat in hopes of sending him into overstimulation. “Mm-ah felix-ah s-stop” Changbin growled-Felix finally pulled off with a smile, grazing his teeth. Felix wipes his mouth and stood up with a painful hard on, after a few moments he helped Changin get up after having to recover.

“Goddamn Lee, I gotta get you pissed off more often” Changbin smiled, grabbing a cigarette from the pack sitting on the table

“So what we going to do now?” Felix smirked lighting the cigarette for Changbin and taking a drag of his own “we gonna tell everyone to leave?”

“Nah” Changbin uttered.

Felix wore a confused mask

“Let me get this shit over with. Wait here for me, shouldn’t take more than an hour and then we can start on round two” Changbins eyes flickered to the outline in Felix’s tight jeans “hurts doesn’t it?” He laughed pressing a palm into the heat and pulling away quickly.

“You're not seriously going through with this are you? Felix asked, hurt nonetheless.

“Why are you acting like I’ve got a choice in this? You know my father Felix” Changbin questioned

“This is bullshit” Felix spat looking everywhere but Changbin “listen to me Binnie, you dad is an evil conniving, psychotic prick! Are you just going to let him ruin your life?” Felix got louder

Changbin moved closer, less than a inch apart and whispered “you need to grow the fuck up, Felix, and Don’t you dare act like you know a thing about my dad either!”

“oh my god! You are fucking kidding me Seo!” Felix laughed catching his face in this hands

“Not everyone just gets to just” Changbin but his lip staring into Felix’s sad eyes, the type of eyes you could drown in if you wanted too. Overcome by everything. “Not everybody just gets to blurt out how they fucking feel every minute” Changbin looked broken and walked away.

Chelsey stormed in. “Everyone looking for you”

“Well I’m having a fucking smoke! That ight with you?” He shouted more as a statement than a question

“Well it starting you need to come the fuck on” she spat,

Changbin fled the room. Chelsey attempts to approach Felix, he basically dodged her touch just as much as Changbin- leaving her by herself

“fuck it’s starting!” Chelsey ran out and took a seat next to Felix. They watched as Sorn walking down the aisle. They quickly sat down in the back.

Sorn had on a short- almost mermaid cut white dress, Her hair teased high with a veil and tiara, along with a Bouquet of red roses- like the one attached to Changbin’s blazer.

She wore a huge smile and slipped a hand to her bridesmaids- the girls she worked with.

She got up there for the ceremony to begin- Changbin barley grasped onto her hand, seemingly repulsed.

Chan glances at Felix to try and offer a friendly smile, but Felix is too far between upset and beyond pissed off. He gets up and walks to the back of the venue where the bar was. Felix coldly reaches for the Vodka bottle and a red solo cup and stars pouring. He gives Changbin dead eyes and starts chugging- their eyes only held for a few seconds before Felix shut them and winced at the taste. He got to the point where he didn’t care how bad it was as long as he didn’t have to feel this way anymore.

A few minutes passed and so did the drinks Felix sipped- the ceremony came to an end and the reception started.

Chan ran in- and up to Chelsey “I thought you had to see Mina” Chelsey asked despondently

“Yeah- but I thought this was more important” Chan smiled sweetly and gave her a quick kiss

Felix threw the rest of his drink down his throat at the sight of his brother and started to stumble near him.

“He did it” Felix pushed Chan, the stench of alcohol heavy on his breath “he got married- to a woman”

“Fuck,Felix I told you not to come, okay” Chan nearly whispered as his younger brother grabbed onto him

“How about you try sitting on your ass while the person you love” Felix grit his teeth “no I’m sorry- the guy you’ve been f-fucking gets married to some random skank” Felix voice getting louder with every word while Chelsey watched in horror “fucking thai bitch” Felix screamed at the top of his lungs

“Dude come on” Chan tried pushing him into the backroom- as before.

“Get the fuck off me” Felix shoved his brother with full force. He continuously rubbed his eyes while feeling the numbness course through his veins while trying to a find an exit.

Felix finally got outside and felt the cold air brush against his skin. He pulled his bangs back and let out a broken sigh and started walking- all he knew was his house wasn’t far. His skin was tingling from the alcohol and the fall air. Felix contained to stumble through the streets with one thing on his mind….. it took Felix about half and hour to make it home with his mind going wild.  
He walked up the steps and into his empty house.

He acted frantic as he walked into the kitchen- like everything was just know hitting him at once, like a bullet through the heart, at least that what it felt like.  
He kicked the laundry basket and let out a hysterical scream as he punched through the drywall behind the washer. “Fuck” he shouted. Felix walked toward the counter where he slid his back down onto the ground. Knees up and his hands on his cheeks as tears fell down willfully “I can’t fucking take it anymore” he rasped and rubbed his own eyes while he ran circles in his own mind. He grabbed his phone and slid the screen, and opened the notes on his phone- to see something he wrote for Changbin the night he ran from his house with his heart broken. ‘I don’t know why I put so much into something that would never last- something I could never have even though it was within reach’

 **Life** **means** **nothing** **without** **you**

“Got that right Changbin” a singular tear fell from his glittery eyes. Felix tried to laugh, but Drops kept falling out from each one of his eyes. Felix threw his phone across the kitchen as he made sweater paws with his shirt and wiped the glistening tears from his ‘starry cheeks’ as Changbin liked to call  them.

Felix stood up and started walking up stairs lifelessly. when he reached his shared room he glanced at the set Polaroids of him and Changbin and threw them off his desk- that was the first night Changbin actually opened up to him and saw him more as a friend than a warm body. Felix opened his desk draw and dug into what he called his junk drawer’ for the sharp item. Once he hadn’t found it, he gazed at it in his hands, the way the light bounced off the metal. The thin piece laid between his fingers as he walked back down the steps and into the kitchen. Felix set the blade on the counter and walked into the living room and glanced at the picture of him with his family on the ledge above the TV.

He walked over to one with him and his eldest brother, the time Chan dyed his hair green it turned out awful since he didn’t bleach the originally brown hair before hand ... but it was taken on the steps at one of the parties Mina threw at their house. Chan’s arm around him and a beer in his other hand, he gave a weak smile to the Chan in the photo and walked back into the kitchen and grabbed the blade.

Just like before he slid his back again the counter and sat there. One deep breathe in and then out.

___________________

“Have you seen Felix around? I’m fucking worried about him” Chan asked Chelsey, looking around

“He left a while ago dude” Chelsey laughed and tried to kiss him again

“Shit” Chan pushed Chelsey off of him “I’ve gotta go- I think… it’s just the state he was in I’ve gotta make sure he got home okay and shit”

“No dude I get it, plus this is basically over I’m probably just going to go home with Changbin and now Sorn” Chelsey tilted her head

“Um actually, can you drive me home? I caught a ride from Baek-“ Chan asked with a pleated face

“Hm fine”

Chelsey let her Father and Brother know where she was heading to, and then the couples were on their way.

“Is everything F-Felix said about him and my brother true? Were they-?” Chelsey tried to get the words out

“Yeah they were, that’s what I’ve been meaning to tell you but I wanted him to do it, that’s why he’s been acting so fucking crazy, because Changbin” Chan tried to explain

“I can’t fucking believe it-he’s been fucking my brother this whole time” Chelsey exasperated

“Felix is kinda in love with him- I wish he wasn’t since your brother is kind of a asshole… sorry that’s rude- I just didn’t want him getting hurt like he is now” Chan responded

“Rude? Yes, True? Also yes- but I get it, Felix is a good fucking kid, things just don’t work out for us” Chelsey offered a helpful smile while keeping her eyes on the road.

“Woah- Chelsey right here” Chan shouted and she stopped on the breaks

“Well the light is on so I assume Felix is fine and made it home safe” Chelsey said with hope

“Hopefully” Chan laughed

Just like usual Chan walked up the step into his house, he heard sniffling and saw Felix’s shoes peeking through from the kitchen- which was to be expected crying that is, after what He has endured tonight

“Felix?” Chan called, in return he Heard his brother mumble and let out a broken sob

‘Something not right’ Chan thought and ran into the kitchen. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his youngest brother surrounded in a pool of his own blood, hooded eyes and barely responsive

Chan was in absolute shock- he could have swore his heart stopped beating in this moment, there was a slight delay between the time he laid eyes in his younger brother- his best friend, and the time he reacted. When Chan finally realized what was going on he ran over to Felix with tears streaming down his face rapidly

“Felix are you okay? No you aren’t okay! Why am I even asking you that?” Chan’s voice shrieked with a cracked voice- while he was shaking his brother. But he didn’t get more than a twitch of the eyelid and tilt if the head. “Fuck” Chan screamed and held onto his own forehead and grabbed Felix’s phone that he saw laying on the tile, he quickly dialed 911

“Hello, operator what’s your emergency?”

“Um” Chan choked “I just found m-my brother on the ground he’s u-m slit his wrists, I don’t know how long he’s been here, but he’s barely responsive”

“Dispatch will be sent out immediately, what is your address and has anything been done to the patient?”

“N-no” Chan responded and Gave the woman their address over the phone

“Dispatch is on their way, if you can put pressure on the wounds”

Chan hung up the phone and reached for towel to try and put pressure on the cuts to stop him from bleeding out further- there was blood everywhere- including now on Chan’s pants and hands…. his brothers blood.

“Hey, buddy it’s going to be okay, okay? The paramedics are coming and everything going to be fine” Chan tried to speak calmly to his brother- Felix tried to murmur “I’m sorry”

“It’s not your fault Felix, you didn’t deserve this” Chan held his brother once the towels were tied and kissed him on his forehead.

 

Paramedics arrived, when Chan heard a knock at the door- he let them in and loaded Felix on to a stretcher and rushed him to the hospital

“You did the right thing- I don’t know the situation but it’s not your fault” the paramedics told Chan

“I may not be the reason, but I should have been here with him” Chan spoke sternly

The Paramedics gave him a sad smile and patted him in the back “kid, why don’t you just get in the Ambulance with your brother, he needs you right now”

Chan nodded his head and got right on in.  
He hurt to look at Felix that way. Chan quickly dialed Chelsey’s number on his own phone. 3 rings and she picked up

“What’s up? Miss me already?” Chelsey laughed

“Uh” Chan hiccuped

“What’s wrong?” Chelsey immediately knew something was up when Chan’s voice cracked

“I’m currently in the ambulance and on my way to the ER, Felix tried to kill himself” Chan spoke softly

“Felix what? Is he okay? Fuck!” Chelsey shouted

“What happened to Felix?” Chan overheard Changbin ask

“It’s nothing” Chelsey responded muffled

“Chelsey fucking tell me” Changbin continued to interrupt

“No, I don’t know how long he had been like that, he was barely awake when I found him”

“Fuck, I’m on way now, this is terrible” Chelsey responded

“Yeah- just seeing him like that, it’s like my heart broke and completely stopped beating, it was surreal in a way” Chan zoned out

“How did he try to do it?” Chelsey asked

“Um, I found him bleeding out- his arms cut” Chan choked out

“Fuck, I’ll see you at the hospital” Chelsey hung up

“What the fuck happened to Felix?” Changbin demanded

“He tried to kill himself, Chan found him” Chelsey told her older brother

“What the fuck, how?” Changbin yelled, rounding his words

“Chan found him bleeding out” Chelsey repeated what Chan said earlier

“Why would he fucking do that?” Changin asked, his voice getting softer with more feeling- his mind going a thousand miles a minute now

“I don’t know, I’m headed to the hospital” Chelsey told him

“I’m fucking coming”

“The fuck you are- after everything you put Felix through, your probably why he did it!” Chelsey screamed at her brother still upset about what Felix had said

“Wha-t you think I caused this?” Changbins eyes started to water “I care about him and I’m coming!”

“You don’t fucking act like it” Chelsey responded

“I am coming!” Changbin yelled and grabbed the keys.

“What the fuck ever” Chelsey shouted and followed Changbin out to the car. “I’m driving asshole, give me the goddamn keys!” Changbin threw her the keys and got in the front seat, he remained silent most of the car ride… Chelsey tried to put on Some ‘Got7’ which Changbin might as well of punched the dial to turn the radio off. Chelsey ignored him and actions, as she continued to drive to the hospital in complete silence.

 

When they arrived, Chelsey parked the car and pulled her brother in the waiting room where she saw Chan pacing around.

“Holy fuck you’re here” Chelsey ran up to Chan and enveloped him into her arms, she could feel his wet cheeks on her shoulders “We are” Chelsey glances back at Changbin “are you okay, Chan?”

“No I’m not fucking okay, I found my brother barley responding, why did you bring him” Chan laughed with tears dripping of his face while pointing in Changbin’s direction.

“I came here because I-“

The nurse cut Changbin off “Lee Bang Chan?”

“Yes? How is he doing? Chan asked seriously trying to remain calm

“He’s stable”

“Thank god”’Changbin mumbled, Chan shot him fire bidding glare

“However we are going to him him. To make sure he doesn’t try to harm himself, has he been diagnosed with anything?”

“No, neither do us have been to a shrink but our mom has a history of bipolar” Chan explained

“Felix is 16?” She asked

“Yeah”

“That’s a bit young for bipolar to start manifesting, but we will check it out” The nurse responded

“Um- can I see him?” Chan asked, and Changbin moved closer to him, gesturing the same.

“No, not now. He’s heavily sedated, actually you should go home”

“I found my brother with his fucking wrists slit- I’m not going anywhere” Chan shouted and kicked a chair.

“Sir- if your going to cause a scene I’m going to have to ask you to leave”

Chan rolled his eyes and sat down.

“Chan, maybe we should go home and clean up, Felix is in good hands they’ll take care of him” Chelsey sat down next to him, and tried to confront her boyfriend

“I’m not leaving my fucking brother” Chan shrilled

Changbin stood there awkwardly.

“He’s going to be transferred no matter what, so I’m just thinking we could go home and clean up and wait for them to call you with news?”

“Chelsey, do you even understand why scary that was? If I would have know Felix was leaving, and left with him- I could have stopped this”

“Chan, it’s not your fault”

“Says who?” Chan spat

The nurse came back, “sir, it says Felix is only 16 we are going to need a legal guardian or adult to sign him over into our care so he can be admitted”

“Jesus fucking Christ” Changbin sighed shoving his hands deep into his pockets, remembering what happened last time they needed a ‘legal guardian’

“Um, I’m more of a parent to my brother then our piece of shit father” Chan laughed “I’m 18, so can I sign him over”

“Is the father not here?” The nurse asked

“I haven’t seen him in 2 weeks” Chan smiled knowing the words coming out of his mouth could put him back into just as deep of shit as before

“Fine” the Nurse respires despondently while handing him the forms “hand this back to me when it’s all filled out and we will move him to our behavior health unit”

“Got it, how long will he be there- in hospital care?”

“The average stay is 2-3 weeks but given it was a serious attempt, causing possible nerve damage and on top of that we have to monitor him for bipolar, I assume his stay will be much longer”

Chan winced at her words and went to sit down and fill the forms out.

“You two can go home, they probably won’t let me see Felix until he’s admitted and visiting hours have begun” Chan told the two

“I’m not going anywhere” Changbin flatlined

“Yes you are” Chelsey grabbed his arm “I can go to your place and start cleaning up?”

“It’s fine”

Chelsey gave Chan a quick peck in the cheek, he watched her girlfriend and Changbin leave the hospital while he continued to fill out papers, checking Felix in for at least 30 days. He handed the stack of papers back to the nurse, “is there really no way I can see him now?”  
“No sir, they have him in a lot of medication right now, come back again tomorrow during 12-8” Chan nodded his head and left, Luckily He spotted Irene across the street and hitched a ride, she tried to make small talk which just upset Chan, forcing him to explain what happened. Irene was a sweetheart, a family friend to the Lee’s. You could see the pain it brought to her face. 5 minutes had passed and she bid him farewell and dropped him off at the bar wire fence around their house.  
Walking into that home has never felt so empty and so terrible. When it entered the front door, he was overcome with a subtle metallic scent.

“Fuck” Chan screamed at the top of his lungs after walking into the kitchen, seeing the pool of blood.  
He grabbed the towels and bleach to clean up the mess, that didn’t stop the tears from pouring out.


	7. Don't!, Don't What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost a month later and i finally update,,, hMMMMM also i;ve decide that i'm going to go back and add to all the old chapters once i find the time... i hope you enjoy even if i was to lazy to edit

“It’s time to wake up kiddos” an unheard before voice spoke loudly but sweetly 

 

   Felix started to wake up with his head still foggy... he heard the sound of wheels rolling in  from the med carts that had just entered. He looked to the tall dark skinned man who spoke before, upon entrance “Where am i?” Felix asked with slurred words, due to the smoothie of drugs they had fed him -when he was brought into the ER on the previous night.

 

“He’s got oatmeal brain, huh?” The boy in the bed next to him said while staring up at the nurse. The boy looks older, a little bit too old for the adolescent unit but that could just because of his stark white hair. He has the sides shave and the top long and swoopy. 

 

“You’re in the adolescent unit of Sheppard-Pratt Behavioral Health Hospital, in Seoul.” the dark skinned man told Felix ‘he doesn't sound like he’s from here’ Felix thought, whilst leaning over his bed. “You’re Felix, Lee Right? C'mon lets get your vitals, You too Jackson” He spoke while glancing over at the other kid and trying to help Felix out of his bed.  “Y-yeah” Felix responded still dazed, when they were leaving his room and walking out to the day room Felix's eyes wandered down his arms where he spotted bandages… his mouth formed a little O shape, the memories of the night before came back. The wedding , _Changbin’s wedding_ , The blade, and the kitchen. The last thing he remembered was Chan asking him if he was okay before his world went black and colder than a snow storm.

 

    “I need to call my brother” Felix snapped out of his daze and told the nurse beside him. 

 

   “Well let’s get your vitals first,  _ sir” _ The dark skinned nurse helped Felix sit down on the chair and after that shoved the thermontar in between his lips “Where did you come from?” The man asked before speaking again with “Oh i hate that, when you’re at the dentist and you can’t talk but they ask you questions anyways” He laughed while Felix stared at him blankly “yah, Eunji, This boy isn’t laughing at my jokes!”  all of this turned into echos in his mind, seconds later and a short dark haired asian girl walked out, she glances at Felix and then start speaking to the darker man

 

“Oh miles” she puts her hand on his shoulder “Give him a break, you’re jokes are even that funny and you’d need to bring a kangaroo in the room to make this kid laugh with all the drugs he’s on” She spoke matter of factly with a glint of humor.  Miles rolled his eyes at her while taking the Blood Pressure cuff off of Felix’s arm. He patted Felix’s thigh three times before shouting “It’s your turn Sunmi” Felix managed to walk over to where the chairs where and sat in the one farthest away from everyone else.

 

“Is this your first time in a mental hospital?” A skinny girl with straight orange bangs asked, similar to the color of his own hair. Felix managed to nod in return “Well it looks like it's pretty serious” she started inching closer to him “I’m Chaeyoung, would you mind me asking why you did it?” she tried to reach for his wrist and Felix immediately pulled away from her touch. “Yes i would” Felix slurred out. “What if we all tell you why we are here for your very clearly interesting story?” Yubin continued in her manipulative tone.

 

“Jesus christ Chaeyoung, Leave the poor kid alone!” Jackson interrupted 

  
  


“Shut up Jackson, at least i’m not here for trying to kill my girlfriend and then myself all while being strung out on meth!” She shouted.  Felix couldn't help but think ‘who the fuck are these people i’m in with’ 

 

“That’s fair i guess” Jackson brushed off with a sarcastic sounding giggle

 

Felix got up while the other two kept arguing. He walked up to Eunji  “Um can i call my brother, i didn't get to call anyone when i first got here last night, during intake” she stared at him sympathetically  “i'm not supposed to let you call anyone until _seven pm_ , but you seem like sweet kid and you didn't get your first call... sit here and i’ll get the phone from the back out” She smiled, once she returned- she went to plug it in and then asked Felix who he had wanted to call, and explained hat she’ll have to check his call list before she’s able to dial the phone number. 

 

“Um-Lee Bang Chan… It’s my brother” Felix choked out. “Alrighty” Eunji responded. 

She glanced over the list of names “Ah-ha” she breathed out, still pointing to the name “i found em’ He’s the only name on your list“ she winked at him while speaking matter of factly. Felix  tried to find it in him to muster up a laugh. Eunji began to punch the order of the phone number into the keypad. ‘ _ Please pick up, please pick up…. Please’ _ Felix repeated in his mind. Two rings later and she had started speaking “Is this Lee Bang Chan?” she waited for a response “Good, we have a patient Lee Felix who wanted to call you… and  sir please remember all calls are recorded and monitored.” She continued. Chan was excitedly nervous on the other end. Eunji handed the phone to Felix “Hi” felix spoke timidly 

 

“Hey buddy, How’re you holding up?” Chan tried to speak light-heartedly, even though all he’s done all night is nervously clean the house and smoke through 3 packs of camels.

 

 “Don’t talk to me like i’m five years old” Felix laughed into the phone “i’m doing okay, I’ve only been conscious for like thirty minutes or so… but i'm surviving-y’know at least i survived” 

 

“Oh, so i’m guessing you haven't even seen a psychiatrist yet have you?” Chan asked 

 

“Nope, but I probably will sooner or later” Felix responded 

 

“Yeah” Chan responded trying to think of what to say and still trying to understand the situation 

 

“yeah...I just can’t wait to see what bullshit diagnosis they’ll shove down my throat this time” Felix started 

 

“Lix, we just want to see you get better” Chan tried to explain

 

“Yeah, But i don’t have anything wrong with me… it was just a misunderstanding, y’know relationship issues, i’m not like mom or Jisung, i’m me” He tried to reason, but ‘normal’ people don’t try to kill themselves in such a traumatic way when something like this happens it’s not ‘Romantic’ or ‘Beautifully Tragic’ it is terrifying and painful.  Chan started growing Frustrated… he was the one who walked in on Felix bleeding out.

 

Felix doesn't even seem to understand the severity of this situation.

 

 “Felix” Chan exasperated in response

 

Eunji started walking over “Felix wrap it up, group is about to start” she told him.

 

“Um Chan i have to go, i’ll call you next the time i can” Felix told his older brother 

 

“Okay, i am going to try and visit you tonight, and if not today then soon” Chan tried to smile through the phone “okay” Felix responded blankly “i love you” Chan spoke and Felix responded by hanging up the phone...  Chan set his phone down on the counter next to him and let out a deep sigh. He never realized how lonely he, this house actually was, after all Chan’s childhood was basically based around raising Felix since, their mom left when he was only eight years old leaving Felix being just six… not to mention that when Jenny left was when Jisung had fully started spinning out of control. Their lives were pretty much a tale of the nitty and gritty. 

 

The Lee house was the house everyone on the southside knew of mainly because Jisung’s street presence ( and by that i mean the amount of times he was found huffing glue outside of elementary schools, the amount of times he tried to pass small bags of baby powder as cocaine in exchange for meth, or the time he got so drunk at the Alibi that Baekhyun had to literally drag him outside) and the amount of times the cops were called. 

 

“Nothing can seem to go right for us, huh?” Chan breathed out while looking at the same picture Felix was the night of the  _ incident _ , the same photo with Chan’s crappily dyed green hair on the steps leading up to their rooms, Twas the night of the party Mina had thrown at their house to celebrate him getting his driver’s license… kind of a dumb reason to throw a party especially if you wear shoes like the Lee’s but Mina used to want any sort of excuse to celebrate her boyfriend Lee Bang Chan i guess. Thinking about her has now given him a new reason to be sad. 

 

For the first time the Lee house is actually quite and _ empty _ … Chan had considered inviting Chelsey over, but she probably has to deal with Changbin, Her father, and now Sorn. He just wanted a distraction from the car wreck that had become his life… He could either start drinking at nine am ( sometimes an early morning for us is the end of a long night for others) like his father who is god only knows where,  or actually Invite Chelsey over for some meaningless sex which is only used for passing time... Either way he’s going to start hating himself a thousand times more than he already does i this given moment. 

                                         _________________________________

“Felix, it’s your turn” Hyunjin walks back into the group room and taps him on the shoulder “It’s down the hall” he points in attempt to show him where the psychiatry room is

 

“Mmk” Felix hums

 

He leaves the room and strolls down the hall just as Hyunjin instructed him to. When he finds the room and enters he spots a frail looking woman in her thirties or so, she has long brown hair thats strung high into a ponytail and gold circle glasses. 

 

“You must be Felix” She starts “I’m mrs.O but you can call me katherine

 

“Yes ma’am” he returns

 

“Come have a seat and tell me what brought you in here” She asks of him and gestures Felix to the chair right in front of her-her eyes do not leave the bandages on his wrists. 

 

“You just wanna hear my life story? Cause that’s the reason i’m here, i’ve been fucked over since day one” Felix tells her, rudely. 

 

“Care to explain on that?” She asked calmly 

 

“Well, my mom is insane and left when i was six, My father who isn’t really my father because Jenny is cheater is an addict, therefore my brother has had to raise me… but in more recent events- i just got out of a group home for kids who set their parent on fire while they are trying to take a nap, and on top of that my boyfriend who now refuses to talk to me just got married to a thai hand-job whore, so i guess you could say i am  _ truly _ living the life” Felix smiles aggressively to punctuate his tale. 

 

“Wow okay” Kathrine starts “I’ve talked to your brother, since he seems to be the closest you have to an actual guardian” She states while flipping through papers “Now i’ve gotta ask, is what happened with your  _ boyfriend _ what lead up to wanting to hurt yourself? Cause’ that’s how Chan has made it seem” 

 

“Partly… and the other part is me not knowing how to help myself.” Felix said almost lifelessly 

“Okay Felix, i’m going to be straight up with you, I think your problem here goes way beyond your  _ boyfriend _ not wanting to be with you anymore. I know you might not want to hear this but i think there’s another underlying issue here and after talking to your brother about your recent behaviors and looking at your screenings… i think i’m going to start you on 150 mg of Trileptal” She continued to explain 

  
  


“What do you mean my screenings?” Felix asked with an attitude jumping out for a bite 

 

“When you were brought in, you possess very high levels of alcohol in your blood, which substance abuse is very common in adolescents when bipolar starts to manifest” Kathrine went on 

 

“I am not bipolar or an addict, i’m not Jenny and i’m not like Jisung” Felix’s voice got quieter at sight of the other kids through the window on the door in front of him.

 

“That maybe so, However i’m still starting you on these meds, if anything is troubling you about them tell Nurse Park, and She’ll let me know and i’ll get them sorted out. I’m also going to schedule a family meeting to take place thursday, i assume it will just be us and Chan…” she paused before speaking again “ if everything gets sorted out in there you’ll be on your way home” She explained with a smile

 

“Okay” Felix’s voice went an octave lower

 

“Okay” She smiled “Can you get Chaeyoung for me?” 

 

“Mhm” Felix responded while walking out of the room and now into the day room    
  


“Chaeyoung” Felix spoke while jerking his head back, as to signal where she should go 

 

“Oh yay! It’s my turn” She laughed while trotting in to the door after glancing back at the current group, made up of now Felix,  Youngjae who had his arms and part of his face entirely cut up, quite Sunmi who is there on a suspected overdose, Jackson who Felix found out earlier is or was addicted to meth and attempted a murder-suicide on his girlfriend, and lastly Dahyun, the only eightteen year old on the unit who celebrated graduation by attempting to set her house on fire.

 

______________________________

“I’ve gotta head over to the psych ward to visit Felix later today… i think it starts at  _ eight _ ” Chan spoke while buttoning up his monochromatic moth printed shirt, which went nicely with his dark curly hair. He looked to Chelsey who was still wrapped in a bed sheet for a response. She put her cigarette out in the ashtray next to the bed before speaking. 

 

“Can i come?” She asked with doughy eyes 

 

“I think it would be best if i went to see him by myself for the first time, and then you can come and maybe even Changbin too?” Chan responded with question in his voice

 

“Do you really think that’s a good idea? After all My brother is kinda the reason Lix did what  _ he did _ ” Chelsey got off the bed and walked over to Chan and kissed his neck as if they weren't talking about his brother’s suicide attempt. 

 

“I’ll bring it up with him and see how he reacts” Chan explained “Fuck you are so  _ hot _ Chelsey” He breathed out 

“When is viso again?” Chelsey asked while licking her lips

 

“Erm, eight… i think” Chan responded  _ unsure _

 

“I’ll make it quick” Chelsey had fire in her eyes as she dropped to her knees.

 

                                        ___________________________

 

“Felix, you have a visitor” Eunji called for him . He stood up from where he was sitting and followed Eunji into the day room.  “Have fun Felix!” Chaeyoung shouted a little bit _too_ cheery for his liking while waving.  He shot her a disgusted look, one that read _don’t talk to me bitch_

  
  


When Eunji lead Felix into the visitation room, Where Chan was Felix sat down across from his brother and Chan saw how pale and broken his Felix was. his heart shattered.  Before when Felix had called him he tried to stay up-beat. With not wanting to depressed him, but now his sick face is right in front of him wearing droopy eyelids.  everything is so much harder when it’s right in front of you. Chan wanted to cry.  “Hey Lix, i brought you coffee” Chan handed him the cup unsure of how his brother would react.  “Thanks” Felix responded after sitting down and taking the cup from his brothers hands. 

 

“Felix, can i ask why you, um did it?” Chan choked out

 

“I already told you, relationship issues, i didn't think there was anything left for me” Felix spoke while sipping his coffee

 

“That can’t possibly be the  _ truth.  _ Not all of this over fucking Changbin” Chan rasped out “Like Felix, even when you’re really struggling… i shoulda’ been there! And i’m sorry i wasnt that night. I will never forgive myself for not being there with you!” Chan exasperated

 

“Chan it’s not your fucking fault! I just don’t know how to feel okay, Okay?” Felix took a deep breath “I don’t want this visitation to be you trying to reason with me, what’s done is done.” Felix deadpanned while lifting up his arms- so he could flash the older of the two his bandages.

 

“You really don’t get how serious all of this is do you?” Chan scoffed “You could have died” Chan shouted 

 

“Yeah! And maybe i should have” Felix screamed back 

 

_ Chan was silent _ “please don’t say that” Chan started speaking, sounding like tears where abou to be ripped from his eyes “i wouldn't know how to live with myself if you didn't make it” Chan wiped his eyes with the  sleeve of his cardigan. 

 

“So my family meeting is thursday huh?” Felix starts to switch the subject

 

Chan looks up before responding and takes a sip from his own cup “Yeah, i wanted to bring Chelsey and Changbin… but your doctor won’t let me, even if they are more of family then anyone else” Chan spoke tiredly 

 

“Can you at least try to bring them to visit me next time?”   _ Changbin _ and Chelsey that is Felix asked his brother. 

 

“Yes, i will” Chan told his brother 

 

“Does- does Changbin know what happened?” Felix asks again 

 

“Yes he does, he was at the ER with Chelsey and I when you were brought in… i really think he’s trying to get his act together  _ for you _ ” Chan explained 

 

“So something good  _ did _ come out of me trying to hurt myself” Felix laughed 

 

“Don’t say that!” Chan snapped 

 

Then Eunji came back in  “Hey guys… visitation is over, so if you could wrap this up” She started. Chan started standing up and moving closer to his brother. Felix stood up and Chan enveloped him in his arms.  “I love you” Chan spoke, voice breaking.  “ _I love you too_ ” Felix murmured against the polyester of Chan’s moth printed shirt. Felix broke the embrace a moment or two later

“I’ll bring Changbin  _ tomorrow or monday if i can”  _ Chan called out after Felix… and he actually  _ smiled _ in return. Eunji brought Felix back on the unit where everyone else had already started taking showers and getting ready for bed, while Chan tried to find his way out of the hospital.

 

Eunji handed Felix his towel and a travel sized bottle of 3-1, and even if Felix was more pissed off than anything… he let everything hit him while he was in the shower. It was to the point where his tears blended in to the sprinkles coming down from the faucet, and the sound of his cries blended in with the pounding  of the water pellets against the rubber curtain. 

  
  


                                   _________________________________

 

“So is your  _ boy toy _ coming over, again?” Changbin asked, tilting  his head back so he could stare at his sister and wait for a response. 

 

“Yeah, he should be coming over soon, he went to visit Felix… like um an hour ago” Chelsey responses from inside the kitchen

 

Changbin gets up from the couch and walks over to his sister “Wait, he saw  _ Felix _ ” he asks for confirmation.

 

“I mean yeah- They  _ are _ brothers” Chelsey replies nonchalantly with hidden confusion, even a laugh peaking through. _ Almost like all of this is nothing more then a game.  _

Changbin kicked the counter beside him as hard as he thought he could before gasping “Fuck”.

 

“What’s your problem? Your all pissed off about this, but i don't think _you_ realize you’re kinda the reason he’s in there?” Chelsey brings up again. Changbin is now pacing back and forth and very visibly upset  “Can you please stop blaming me for this mess, i’ve done all I can” he breathes out, almost like a gasp  “Well, whatever you _did_  clearly was not enough” Chelsey snaps. 

 

Changbin gives no response but instead he walks out of the back door and leaves  “Woojin! Here, now!” he shouts back into the house before finally slamming the door.  Woojin stands up from the round table and hobbles his way outside. 

 

This is just how things used to be, Changbin and Woojin would disappear for days on end and during that period of time they’d use anything they could get their hands on. Occasionally Changbin would even huff with Jisung. Even if Changbin doesn’t want to admit it, Felix is what stopped these benders for the most part… Although old habits die hard i suppose, and an addict will always go back to whatever used to make them comfortable when the reason they stopped is no longer present. 

 

Meanwhile Changbin is somewhere shoving a needle into his arm and Chan has just arrived to the Seo house, with no one home except for Chelsey. 

 

“Where is Changbin?” Chan asks Chelsey as she lets him through the door. 

 

“Fuck if i know” She exasperated back 

 

“Oh?” Chan asked in question while following her into the kitchen to fetch a beer.  “Nah, i’m good with coffee” Chan speaks 

 

“are you sure?” her eyes move from the curls on his head down to his boots “cause’ you sure look like you need it” She laughed 

  
  


“Ouch, but no i’m good with coffee, i don’t wanna be drunk and sad while thinking about my brother” Chan spoke softly. 

 

“Wait, what happened with him?” Chelsey asked while standing over the coffee maker 

 

“He’s just so… so angry” Chan spoke trying to look for the right words, while watching Chelsey fill the filter with newgrounds.  “And he doesn’t want any help either, he think it’s some sort of game” he continued, now speaking more with his hands then his mouth. 

 

“Fuckin’ Felix” Chelsey breathed “We all just want to see him get better” She responded while grabbing the creamer from the fridge. 

 

“Exactly, we aren't trying to compare him to Jenny, i just want him to be okay!” Chan’s voice was growing louder “Cause- Cause normal people, don’t just fucking slit their wrists over some guy! They don’t just go from crying to hysterical laughter!” 

 

Chelsey stared back at him with startled eyes “I’m sorry Chelsey.. I just need to vent” He vocalized softly into her ear as she moved closer, consuming him into her arms 

“i know” she whispered against the skin of his neck, and moved up to plant a plush kiss onto his jaw. 

  
  


Hours later and Changbin, along with Woojin return back, One stumbling more than the other and I bet you can imagine who that _one_ was.  Chan and Chelsey who were on the couch- just near the front door, whipped around at sight of the two.  “Where the fuck have you been?” Chelsey spat while getting up from Chan’s lap. 

 

“Places” Changbin slurred after rolled his eyes and continued moving toward his door 

 

“Bullshit” Chelsey laughed and reached to grab Changbin’s arm. _ Track Marks.  _ “You said you weren't going to do that anymore” Chelsey’s voice became soft and her breathing was stangnet. 

 

“Call me a liar then” Changbin smiled aggressively while falling his arms. 

Then Chan stood up. 

 

“Changbin, i know what you think you’re doing is going to help” Chan breathes “But it’s not… you cannot drink Felix away or shoot him up either” Chan continues  “Jisung used to do this when m-mom would run away or p-pull some crazy shit” spoke sharply. Changbin starts slowly clapping back at Chan  “you really think your _little_ lecture is going to have any impact on me? _I don’t give a shit about him_ ” 

 

“Changbin you know that’s not true” Chelsey spoke. Changbin gave her child like broken eyes, and turned around into his room and slammed the door. 

 

“Fucking Seo’s” Chelsey sighed almost like a laugh.  “Fucking Lee’s” Chan returned in the same fashion.  “Yup” she replied and dragged him back over to the couch.

 

__________________________________

  
  


The days started blending together like honey, maybe just not as sweet. Felix has been in the nightmare of a mental hospital for well over 5 days now and Chan would rather be anywhere then the pathetically quite Lee house. Time is just passing by while Felix is cheeking his meds, Changbin is sticking himself with a needle, and Chan is doing just about with (or to) Chelsey in order to pass the time. However today is different, Tomorrow is Felix’s family meeting ( which will only be consisting of Chan, mind you)  and that’s when they decide when he can get the fuck out of there or set up another one, today is also the day Chan is going to visit him, but this time we won’t be alone … this can either become everyone’s own personal hell, or finally bring a smile to Felix’s stone cold face. 

 

“Chelsey do you want coffee?” Chan shouted up the stairwell at his girlfriend who was still getting dressed before walking back over to the coffee maker. 

 

“When are you going to your actual fucking house?” Changbin asked ripping the coffee pot out of Chan’s grip.

 

“Do you want to see  _ Felix _ or _ not _ ” Chan asked Changbin, with his back pressed to the counter 

 

“I guess i’ll shut up then” Changbin smiled offering the older man the pot back. 

 

“Yeah, just go get dressed” Chan rolled his eyes and started pouring the sultring liquid into the two mugs. 

 

“Since when are you my fucking Dad?” Changbin turned his head at Chan 

 

“I’m not your father, but it’s only time until i’m your brother in law” he  winked at Changbin while making a clicking sound with his teeth and turned around to leave the kitchen.

 

“I swear to god, this fucking house” Changbin laughed and headed upstairs to get dressed, even if they weren't going to leave for at least another few hours.  Chan drank his coffee and then did the same thing. Chan slipped on black ripped jeans ( no, they weren't bought like that because Chan isn't stupid, the holes come when you start thinking running from the cops isn't a good idea)  his black and white striped sweater and his wool jean jacket, that he just calls his ‘drinking jacket’ and he finished his look with the same navy blue slip on vans- per usual. Then Chelsey finally got out of the bathroom and still wrapped in a towel she made her way to her brothers door. She rapped on the door to Changbin’s room  “please look decent” she called from outside. Changbin humed back.  Changbin might be a hood rat, but damn can a boy dress up and do it well (grated he did steal most of the clothing he has stashed in his closet but that’s besides the point, the point is he’s lookin’ seven different types of fly) he whipped his current shirt off and traded it in for his classic black turtleneck that read ‘Otritsat'

Around the neck… he didn't really know what that meant, but that didn't really matter.,  he paired that with his black chained tripp pants, along with burgundy gloves, and the same colored oxfords to match… once again did I mention he stole his entire wardrobe? Yes? Well it needs to be said again… cause while he might be the direst boy in all of the South Side,  he sure is the hottest- I mean the best dressed. 

 

“Dare i say, you are lookin’ sharp Changbin” Chan laughed at sight of the younger boy, Changbin bowed as a joke in return. “ Uhhh Chelsey, there is no need to worry about how Changbin is dressing, he looks better than the both of us put together” 

 

“And he usually does” she laughs “But You do realize we are going to a  _ mental _ hospital, not a five star restaurant… correct?” 

 

“Damn i just wanted to look nice, I mean you do keep telling me i’m the reason he’s in that place” Changbin flat lines 

 

Chelsey caught her forehead in the palm of her hand and Chan spoke “He does kind of have a point” 

_________________________________

 

“I wanna bring Felix something, cause I feel so bad he’s I there even if he  _ needs _ the help” Chan irked 

 

“Well do you want me to pull over and get him something?” Chelsey asked seeming annoyed already, She pinched the bridge of her nose before speaking again “I mean, no I’m fine i just think being able to see you will be just enough for him anyways” She smiled 

 

The rest of the car ride was silent, aside from Chelsey playing the same song by ‘BLACKPINK’ the entire way there… When they had arrived although Chelsey was quite, and that was before they had even gone in. Just at the sight of the brick building and she already went silent.  

 

“This place is already wigging me the fuck out” Changbin shook upon entry and at sight of the cinder block walls and tiled flooring, not to mention the migraine inducing lights. 

 

“Yeah? Well imagine your six and seeing your mom here for the first time” Chan justified, unphased while moving closer to the wire grid window to check them in for visitation 

 

“Jesus” Changbin breathed ‘No thanks’

 

Chelsey stayed silent. 

 

“Hi, Can I help you?” The nurse asked 

 

“Um yeah, We’re here to see Lee Felix” Chan clarified 

 

“Okay, what is your relationship to the patient? Along with ID’s” she told the group

 

“Brother” Chan said while flashing his driver license

 

“Um, i don’t have an ID” Chelsey spoke unsurely 

 

“Then you aren't allowed back, How old are you?” The nurse asked 

 

“Sixteen” Chelsey responded 

“Yeah… I’m sorry ma’am you have to be eighteen or older” The nurse gave half smile 

 

“Really?” Chan Bit

 

“Channie, it’s fine...I’ll just wait in the car” Chelsey smiled and started walking away 

 

‘Um sir, and you? “ The nurse gestured to Changbin

 

“Uh’ Boyfriend” He said faster than lighting while flashing his ID around the same speed. Chan couldn't hide his smirk at Changbin’s response. 

“Okay you two, Follow me” She guided the two boys on to the unit ‘The afternoon visiting hours end at 5. You will be allowed to travel within the unit if you like, but i do recommend that conversations remain fun and upbeat. If any altercations occur you will be removed and not permitted back again until discharge of the patient. Also please have your Visitor tags visible at all times” 

 

“Yes Ma’am” Chan replied and Changbin copied him. She brought them into the rec room for afternoon visitation “I’ll go get Felix” She spoke and Chan thanked her. 

 

Minties pass and look who’s about to enter “Felix!” Chan smiles as Changbin akwadly peer’s by his side, Chan consumes his younger brother in a warm hug “Felix look who’s here, Changbinnie is here!” Chan tries to peak excitedly  “Hey” Changbin smiles and attempts to hug the ginger boy, but Felix doesn't hug back. 

 

“Where is Chelsey?” Felix asks 

 

“They-uh wouldn't let her back since she’s only sixteen so i presume the car” Changbin laughs and Chan shoots him a look that says  _ ‘tone it the fuck down’ “ _ She really wanted to see you though,  _ Lix _ ” and oh did Changbin’s voice melt like sugar when it was ringing in Felix’s ears, However he still averted his eyes and responded with nothing other than a aggravated hum. He was afraid if he stared at Changbin any longer his heart would fall apart right there i that moment and inside his chest. 

 

“Are you still holding up well?” Chan asked wanting to bring more light to the conversation, And Felix nodded in return ‘Welp, Your family meeting is tomorrow, so just one more day and we get to find out when you can come home” 

 

“Yeah, and hopefully that will be soon, I’m going to lose my mind if i’m in here any longer” Felix laughed

 

“Yeah’ Chan sighed…

 

“God Damn it!” Changbin stood up “Will you at least look at me?” He snapped 

 

‘You need to calm down” Chan coughed

 

“Depends” Felix mirrored Changbin’s actions ad moved loser toward him “Will you suck my dick whenever i want” Felix smiled sarcastically 

 

“Well… once you get out, Then sure’ Changbin responded almost timidly and matter of factly. 

 

“I really don’t want to hear about this” Chan waved his arms around while sitting back down

 

“Hell yea!” Felix shouted victoriously while slinging an arm over Changbin’s shoulders and plopping back down onto the bench  

 

“How does he always manage to do that? Go from pissed off to smiles?” Changbin got up for a second to whisper the question into the dark haired boys ear “I have no fucking clue” Chan spoke through a smile.  “Um, Felix are you feelin’ okay?” Chan asked while watching his brother swing his long legs over Changbin’s lap  “yeah why wouldn't i be? Besides yanno the obvious?” Felix laughed while gesturing to his still wrapped wrist. He didn't notice but Changbin stared into his lap when he did that, not wanting to see or maybe acknowledge everything that's happened in the given moment… But there is a saying Felix lives by which is ‘If you can’t joke about it, what can you do?”


	8. Love Songs ( In The Key Of Lee & Seo)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally got out of the hospital so I thought he should too!  
> also the end of this chapter gets quite explicit so be warned. I promise it does have plot tho, it’s all much more loving then previous demonstrated Yes

 

 

 

>  

   It had been 3 days since Chan and Changbin last went to visit Felix, and 2 since Chan was at the facility for his younger brothers family meeting.

 

   things which needed discussing were discussed, and Fortunately enough there wasn’t much arguing or need to find a turning point in the household, since most roads lead back to Changbin… or past problems and abuse from there father, but there was no cure for Jisung.

 

  Although I _do_ suppose most children who arrive at these places normally have a hostile environment, pushing their decision on whether they should to try and hurt themselves ( or somebody else).

Felix’s family meeting went well, nonetheless - Chan wanted to discuss Felix's behavior,  arguing that it was way beyond Changbin, but however agreeing that he is something to do with it.   

 

       The vast jump between moods with a hair-trigger temper, not to mention trying to take your life over someone else….  that’s simply just not normal behavior.

 

Eventually they both reached an agreement since Chan was adamant on Felix (possibly) taking after their mother, Jenny. to which the psychiatrist/ mediator in the group vouched for the symptoms as well, even if Felix was a bit young to start showing signs entirely.

 

   Toward the end of the meeting,  they got to Felix agree to take his medication he was to be prescribed, and whichever psychiatrist he starts seeing can follow up with him to see if it’s working. Chan thanked the women and they began to discuss Felix’s discharge date ( even if we all know he’ll try to find a way out of taking them because he’s completely fine… at least in his mind he is.)

 

                    2 days pass and Felix is in the same clothes he came in with, his grey knitted sweater which you could tell had been washed over thousands times to try and get the memories of the _incident_ washed out, but the cuffs of the shirt still smells subtlety metallic.

 

Felix sat at the nurses station with paper bags in his hands waiting for Chan to come out of the office with his appointed doctor so he could _go the fuck home_.

       before, it was all a game of trying to get home and nothing more than that. However now he has his bags in his hands and walking out into the sunshine struckin roads and hopping into his brothers car.

 

   Now he’s been thrown back into the real world and back into reality. The same reality that Changbin is married in and still does not love him and  his only distraction will be the schoolwork he’ll be immediately drowned in once he makes his dreadful return to the hell hole every teenager knows as High School.

 

 “Where’s Changbin?” Felix looks up at his brothers’ now dull face, peering innocently at him.

 

 “I don’t worry about him, lix” Chan said blankly while gesturing at his younger brother to get in the car so they could finally take off.

 

      Most of the car ride was silent due to the fact Felix was finally catching up on sleep, since you can’t really doze off into dreamland when you have MHA’s busting into your room ever 20 minutes to make sure you haven’t tried to hang yourself with your sheets.

 

  Chan couldn’t help but to let a small smile spread across his lips it was more of sadness than joy, when seeing how innocent and soft his brother looked from the rear view mirror. It reminded him of when everything was different, before things got so fucked… they never had it easy, but the bar never felt this low.

                       _________________

 

     When they arrived at home Chan woke Felix up from

his nap and helped him inside with his bags. Chan brought Felix’s bag into their shared room while Felix continued his dreams on the busted couch in the middle of their living room. You could see the ripped PVC peeling up on the arm rests, and the white cotton ready to spill out into absolutely nothing. Chan walked back down the stairs texting Chelsey, Felix caught his eye before drifting back off into sleep

 

  “I thought we were on good terms” Felix sighed

 

  “What?” Chan asked while swinging around the couch and plopping down next to Felix

 

  “At the hospital, I thought he wasn’t upset with me anymore… and everything was going to go back to normal” Felix looked like he was about to cry

 

  “God, Felix it’s Changbin. You need to go out and fuck someone new” Chan spoke sternly while getting up and walking off to the kitchen, he couldn’t believe that all Felix still cared about was Changbin. Felix could have died! Why doesn’t he understand that? And why did he think the problems wouldn’t still be there? Hurting yourself does nothing but make problems worse, while providing very little relief in the end. Everything you were running from are still there , if not amplified when you get back.  All the hospital trips do is make your peers think twice before casually saying ‘ _I’m going to kill myself_ ’ when they get anything lower than a 80 percent on their math quiz, _since he now has taken things to the extremes_. So now it’s time to actually make things right, Since Changbin was never mad at him… just thought he’d be better off if Felix forgot him, and maybe they both would have been.

 

 “I don’t want to fuck anyone new” Felix spoke mainly to himself now.

 

It’s time to face reality. It’s time to pick himself up from off the couch and try to piece together that last sliver of happiness. Felix grabbed his jacket from off the post that held the stairs together and bolted out the door. It felt like one of those moments when you’re running so far away from nothing with some indie song playing your head and pretending this is a transition scene in some obscure artsy French film.

 

  This. This was just like day one, when Felix would find himself outside of Seo Changbin’s front door with _almost_ tears in his eyes. There was some sense of guilt trying to bury him in the bottom of his stomach. The type of guilt that told him to turn away and run right back the way he came or he would have to live with this dying disappointment. Nonetheless he pushed that feeling as far away as he could and found his knuckles back on he same surface. And just like before the one he wanted to call his Mr, opened the door with a half empty bottle,that had been choked my his fist.

 

 Felix expected terror and anger but that was nowhere to be seen on his face.

 

   “Felix” Changbin breathed out more as a statement of surprise than anything, and then engulfed the taller boy in a hug

 

 “So you’re not mad?” Felix spoke shyly

 

 “I was never mad… I just didn’t know how to deal with it” Changbin response dispontantly

 

 Everything was supposed to be alright… but that’s not quite a term in his vocabulary, so of course something must go wrong, and that something is Changbin’s _wife_ making her way to the _now opened_ front door.

 

 “Who is this?” She asked

 

 “No one” Changbin response.

 

 Felix’s heartbroke.

 

“Uh I mean, Felix” Changbin coughed. Felix turned back around with his big light eyes.

 

“I’ll be back” Changbin continued. He grabbed Felix’s frail hand and walked off his porch.

 

 “Where are you going?” She shouted with her thick Thai accent peering out around the _r sounds_. Changbin didn’t respond.

 

 “Where are we going?” Felix asked

 

 “I’m sick of running” Changbin stopped “I’m sick of us always having to run and being stuck in dreadful situations, from me going to jail to you trying to hurt yourself. It’s always on me” Changbin spoke

 

 “We don’t have to run” Felix responded with that hint of fire in his voice that’s normally only sparked by Changbin.

 

 “I just want something to be different” Changbin sighed

 

 “Y’know what” Felix spoke while leaning his head forward

 

 “What” Changbin asks

 

  “We’ve never been on a real date” Felix stated

 

  “Yes we have” Changbin retorted back

 

   “No we haven’t. Not a real date where we are not sneaking around and are going to an actual place” Felix response

 

 “Shit! You’re right Lee” Changbin busted out laughing and clinched on to his hand “You know what we are doing tonight?” He asked

 

“What?” Felix asked already knowing what his lover would respond with

 

 “We are going to get a steak so fuckin’ rare it squeals with I take a bite” Changbin laughed.

 

  Felix pecked Changbins cheek and felt like home. Home wasn’t the house down the street that the police were at way too often, and home wasn’t getting drunk and crying with his brother at 2 am, home was kissing Changbins cheek while the sun was setting. Felix could tell the storm was almost over and they were half way through the tunnel. it’s going to get really good, soon.

 Felix just wanted to live life like a cliche romance novel, his mind was cloudy from all the drugs and the only thing that made sense was the fact that he was with Changbin- even if it sounded kinda dumb.

 

  Changbin had already been dressed quite nicely, presumably already planning a trip out? Or maybe it’s just the fact that he’s a thief who can never get enough couture. Felix was still in the same outfit as the last time he kissed Changbin.

 

 “Do you want to go home and change first?” Changbin asked, glancing up at Felix, he nodded back in return. The boys didn’t live to far from each other, Changbin was already tispy from the long necked bottle he threw a few minutes before. Felix still felt like he was floating. Both boys walked up the street while mumbling some dumb poppy love song they’ve heard before.

 

 “DON'T LET THE NEIGHBORS DOWN!” Changbin laugh-screamed in the dimming light

 

  “LET'S BE SAFE AND SOUND” Felix giggle while turning into their metal netted fence.

 

“After you, sir” Changbin opened the door to the Lee house, with a mocking posh accent. Felix couldn’t help but to let out a giggle on his way inside.

 

 Chan was sat on the couch smoking a cigarette, his head whip around when the door squeaked.

 

  “What?” he mumbled with cig hanging loosely from his chapped lips.

 

 “We are going on a date” Changbin retorted with his arm hung around the eldest boy’s sibling.

 

 “A _real_ one” Felix added.

 

 Chan couldn’t help but to smile, maybe things were actually looking up for his brother.

 

 “Wait, have either one of you heard from Jisung?” Chan asked, not having seen his sad excuse for a father in almost a week

 

“Nada” Changbin responded

 

“Maybe that’s for the better” Felix spoke hatefully

 

“Alright, be forth and merry” Chan responded while taking a long drag from his cigarette, while directing a wink at his sibling causing Felix to burn with a light pink blush across his twinkling cheeks.

 

 Felix walked up the steps and into his room, Changbin followed- surprisingly.  Changbin sat down on Chan’s bed while Felix walked over to his dresser.

 

 “Are you feeling okay?” Felix asked Changbin, even if it should be the other way around

 

 “Yeah why?” He responded “and shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Changbin asked almost sounding confused

 

 “It’s just… you’ve never acted this warmly toward me- i’m normally just a way to get off” Felix responded with his head down, unbuttoning his shirt.

 

“Oh that’s not true” Changbin stood up and walked up to the paler boy, letting his soft hands fall onto his cold freckled chest.

 

 “are you sure?” Felix asked still staring down at his shoes.

 

 “At Least now I am” Changbin responded tipping Eliza chin in his fingertips, while leaning in to kiss his soft lips. After Felix kissed back Changbin decided to move his mouth down the younger boys pasty chest, delicate lips dancing aimlessly on frail skin.

 

 “You’re so pretty and I’m sorry it’s taken something tragic for me to realize it” Changbin whispered into Felix’s skin, in between pecs. kisses still being left on the milky skin.

 

 “Sit down before I start crying, and let me get dressed” Felix tried to laugh in order to lighten the now sorrowing mood. Changbin tried to laugh back , before taking his seat. It was slightly worrying that Felix didn’t see the big deal with what has been done, or at least tried to be done… I guess everyone copes in different ways.

 

 Felix has finally changed into black ripped jeans, as usual, accompanied by a plain black button that had some nice flower detailing, and some dress shoes Chan probably stole. Felix didn’t really own _nice_ clothing, so he had to make due with what he had. Changbin had no judgement, he thought Felix was gorgeous in absolutely anything. I’m sure that has to do with him finally growing into his own skin- and realizing he had nothing to be ashamed of.

 

   “Look at you” Changbin laughed, leaning back on the bed gazing at Felix who was still buttoning his shirt. Felix responded by letting out a hum that sounded like honey on the skin.

    

   “no you” Felix giggled. The mix of Changbin and trileptal was all he needed to smile I suppose.

 

            _____________________________

 

   “So this is the place” Felix asked, while mouth the name to familiarize himself.  

 

  “Yes, Chelsey told me about it” Changbin stated

 

  “No offense, but doesn’t ‘Cotton Café’ so kinda gay” Felix humored

 

 “Yeah and so are you” Changbin snickered while grabbing Felix’s hand and dragging him inside “let’s go lixy” he mellowed at the pet name.

 

  The café was cute.  The place had a patio with a black steel fence which was decorated with gold shimmering fairy lights. The inside carried the astrological sky theme, which was perfect to match Felix’s little constellation cheeks. The boys entered the Café, and waited for the host to show them to their table.

 

  “Do you guys want to sit inside or outside?” The waitress asked

 

Changbin glances at Felix as of to ask him what he wants,

 

 “Oh-um Outside, please” Felix squeaks

 

 “Alright. Follow me” she smiled while leading the boys outside onto the star lit porch. _sometimes life feels like it’s actually worth living, when you have an amazing song playing in your head and a reason for your heart to beat._

 

 _“_ Here is your table, _boys”_ She spoke “your waiter will be with you in a moment” she smiled, Changbin thanked her before she headed back inside.

 

 “It’s so beautiful out here” Changbin spoke breathlessly.

 

 “Mhm” Felix smiles

 

 “Why are you being so quiet?” Changbin asked, leaning closer to the strawberry blonde sweetheart across from him.  “everything just feel different” Felix paused to give himself time to think “I-I just don’t think I e-ever saw us getting this far” he spoke with a breaking smile. Changbin returned with a meaningful hum, feeling every word he spoke ,but not wanting to ruin the vibe.

 

  Felix started to attempt a game of footsie under the table with his beloved, where every so often he would lightly kick the other leg under the table and Changbin would play back, while going through the menu

 

   “What are you thinking of getting?” Changbin’s voice rasped like melted butter.

 

 “I’m not sure, I was thinking about getting pho, but” Changbin cut him off telling him it sounded good, it was a subtle way of dominance that drove Felix absolutely bonkers. Only seconds later and  the waitress is walking over to greet the boys at their table and hopefully take their orders.

 

 “Hello, I’m Candace and I’ll be serving you today. Have you and your friend decided what you’d like to order tonight?” She asked.

 

 Felix poured at what her sentave ensued. Changbin took notice of the sudden shift in posture and the twist of his eyebrows. He intertwined their fingers across the table whilst smiling at her and replying with a a almost mocking “No, what would you recommend” while arching an eyebrow in her direction.

 

 “Oh” her eyes spoke “um our honeydew bubble tea is quite popular-“

 

Changbin cut her off again “we’ll take two”

 

 “Yes sir” she responded before making her way back inside to put the orders in.

 

  “That sounds good right?” Changbin wanted to confirm with Felix now that the waitress is gone even if it is a bit too late in high insight, Changbin just wanted to make a point.

 

 “Yea” Felix smiled

 

 “Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable, or acting controlling” Changbin laughed nervously while scratching the back of his head “I don’t really know how to act in these situations”

 

 “Me either” Felix smiled, still running his foot up Changbins leg as a way to say ‘ _I’m fine and you did nothing wrong’_

 

 Changbin laughed effortlessly, still not knowing what to do, and slightly hating himself for how awkward everything is becoming.   

 

  The waitress returned with their drinks. “Have you two figured out what else you’d like to order?”

 

 “Actually Yeah,” Changbin responded “Um I’ll have egg drop soup, and he will have pho” she glanced up at him while marking her notepad.

 

  “Got it” she smiled pretentiously. “I’ll be back with your orders as soon as they are ready” and then walked off.

 

  “It’s crazy how everything turned out, and what’s happened to lead us here” Felix spoke while sipping on his boba

 

  “Yeah, not to sound fake deep, but I did not expect to be sitting here a few months ago” Changbin responded in a more hopeful tone

 

 “Yeah me either but it was a few weeks ago” Felix giggles

 “You’ve gotta stop joking about that lix” Changbin mentioned

 

 “If I can’t joke about it what else can I do” Felix exasperated

 

 “I guess you’re right”  Changbin responded

 

 “Anyways, was there anything I missed, while I was gone?” Felix asked, leaning in and putting his elbows up on the table.

 

 “Hm let me think” Changbin breathes while leaning back in his chair and this fingers on his chin “oh, actually” he almost shouted while pushing himself back against the edge of the table, jutting his jaw forward. “My father is still in jail” Felix interrupted

 

 “No surprise there” he breathed incredulously

 

 “Fuck off” Changbin guffawed

 

 “Just saying” Felix arched an eyebrow

 

  The waitress came back with their food, “egg drop soup for you, and pho for his friend” she winked at Changbin, he reached for Felix’s hand again- rubbing his thumb lovingly against the other boys soft skin

 

 ”Anyways, as I was saying” He spoke with his hands “he’s still in Jail, Jeongin found a new dealer since I told him I was no longer selling—oh and I actually started learning how to play guitar”

 

 “You’re playing without me?” Felix exasperated with surprise between bites.

 

 “Well I wanted to learn the basics before you got back” Changbin blushed while reaching into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes. “Lix, does it say no smoking anywhere around here” He asked looking for signs

 

 “Since when do you care about ‘ no smoking zones? ‘ “ Felix reached for one of the sticks, putting it in between his lips waiting for Changbin to share the cherry red tip.

 

  Changbin spoke around the cig hanging loosely from

His lips “I dunno that waitress kinda makes me uncomfortable” he leaned forward to shield the wind from Felix’s cigarette while sharing the light.

 

 “Fair enough” Felix rasped out, the tar from

The cigarette making his already deep voice sound

drier—smoke clouding around his words when he spoke.

 

  “I love how we just ordered food and instead of eating any of it— we are just smoking” Felix Smiled while flirtatiously pulling the stick from his lips.

 

 “I mean we could eat ‘n’ smoke” Changbin retorted while grabbing Felix’s fork and feeding him some of the noodles.

 

   Felix mewl at the taste “this is really nice” he smiled and Changbin couldn’t help but to notice how good Felix looks, in his eyes. There’s actual light behind them and possibly a reason to live life, before— or recently a few days before the incident he looked so dull. His eyes were so sad and empty. “What?” Felix wondered shyly and Changbin snapped out of whatever daze he was stuck in “huh?”

 

    “you were staring” Felix spoke timidly while taking sips of his boba

 

 “Right” Changbin sighed “it’s just we are here. I mean that emotionally and I’m not as angry and pissed off and you’re not so sad anymore… it’s - it’s great” he moved his hands again with his barely remaining cigarette in between his fingers. Felix broke out with a sparkling smile. once their cigarettes burned all the way down to the filter and their clothing smelled like smoke, they finished up their meals and waved the waitress over to deliver the check that Changbin would of course pay for with old drug money, stolen cash, or money from stolen item which have now been sold online. After paying for their food, they grabbed their things and the remainder of the drinks and left. There was nothing like downtown Seoul on a Tuesday night. It wasn’t chaotic and flooded with people like how it was on the weekend, but instead it was quite and peaceful. Seeing all the lights still wrapped around the buildings and trees was beautiful.

 

 “What do you wanna do now?” Changbin asked slinging his jacket over his shoulder

 

 “I think spending the rest of the night in would be nice” Felix trailer off having other plans of how he wanted the night to go. Changbin smirked , perhaps he had the same idea coming to mind?

 

 “If you say so” Changbin mumbled with arousal and darkening eyes.

 

  They hopped into ‘Changbin’s car’ it was actually Chelsey’s which was actually Jerry’s, which was probably some poor fucker down the street who parked his car on the side of the road.

 

  Felix gave Changbin half hooded eyes as he squeezed up and down his thigh. Never taking his eyes off the road, therefore not noticing how Felix’s bottom lip was caged between his teeth. Changbin _knew_ damn fucking well what he was doing and how he was making the other boy feel. After all before their relationship was _just sex_ so who’s to change that?

 

         ________________

 

    “Is your brother still here” Changbin whispered, reaching for the light switch now that they are back inside

 

   “I don’t know, don’t worry about him” Felix smiled. Wrapping his arms around Changbin’s neck, smiling into the kiss. It started out as a few pecks on the lips which the older boy shortly started responding too, still sweet nonetheless. Felix lead Changbin up the stairs into his room. If Chan was here he would have no choice but to kick him out of their room or fuck his boyfriend on the stairs because Felix _was_ getting laid tonight.

 

  Felix grabbed the knob of the door, turning it slowly with Changbin cracking up behind him. He turned the lights on in the room and surprisingly yet thankfully Chan was nowhere to be found.

 

  “Oh great, he’s probably fucking my sister” Changbin laughed.   Felix snickered. Giving Changbin time to intanate the kiss. He grabbed Felix by his jaw. Licking up into the kiss. Felix played with his piercing while melting into the kiss, there was nothing like it. A feeling he could feel but unable to find the words to express it. His hands found there way around his head, into his hair, back down to his neck, and around his sharp as jawline. The way Changbins face was cut out, was probably his favorite thing. A nice ass jawline is probably what he looked for most in men. Changbin pulled back. Breaking the kiss. He held Felix’s angler face in his hands just to be able to look at his handsome face, today and spit slick lips.

 

  Changbin’s eyes immediately darkened. He gave one last look before he took Felix’s lips back into his. now their legs were against Felix’s bed. Changbin pushed Felix down by his and into the bed, strategically straddling the younger boys hips and crawling on top of him. He continued working on Felix’s neck. At first he was leaving wet and soft smooches along His jawline, trailing up and around his face. Felix started giggling like a baby from the tickling butterfly kisses being left on his freckles.  

Changbin roller his eyes while still accepting how darling the boy under him was. He let his kisses get more intense and passion filled when returning back down his neck. The ladder’s breathing started to get a bit louder and heavier. The air felt thick. The boys skin turned into fire from the magic Changbin’s lips were doing on his skin.

 

 He started tonguing at Felix’s adams apple, undoubtedly one of Changbins favorite part of his partner,  aesthetically. He loved how thin It made his throat look, and how the bone jutted out around his pale skin. it was sinful.

 

 “God” Felix breathed , Making Changbin think

He’s found his sweet spot. Now his hands were on the eldests’ neck and Changbin’s hands were engulfed in his hair, giving a slight tug and he threw his head back in pleasure ‘ _he found it’_ Felix thought to himself letting out a slightly over dramatic whine. Changbin hummed back, the sound which was completely dripped in honey from all the energy exploding within the room.

 

 He started to move down Felix’s chest, slowly unbuttoning the shirt in between kisses which were scattered around his freckles face. Once his shirt was complete undone he shrugged it off his shoulders and started to help Bin out of his own.

 

 Changbin immediately latched on to the new found skin of the younger’s chest. Biting and leaving a trail of kisses down. Felix just laid there, slightly lifting his head up- unable to take his eyes off of what Changbin was doing doing there. Changbin had now fully  settled  himself in the middle of Felix’s muscular thighs.

 

 He never realized how beautiful Felix’s skin really was. He was like a galaxy with constellation freckles covering his collarbones and his shoulders, even down his arms.  

 

Changbin felt a hand automatically on his neck, trying to guide him down— he finally took a hint and licked a long stripe over the others nipple. He felt Felix’s back immediately arch off the bed as he sucked in a breath ‘aha’

 

  “That was a bit unexpected” Changbin lifted his head up toward Felix. He responded by pushing Changbin’s head right back down where it was, now that his body was settled in between his legs, he wrapped his knees around his torso. He figured he might as well give him what he wanted, so he continued  to abuse the skin there, biting the bud right when he reached it again. Felix reacted with a gasp. He tried to smooth over the tip with his tongue, twirling it around inside his mouth. Sucking and kissing. once he thought he was done , he moved on over to the other one. Still playing with the abused one in between his fingers. Felix complimented his skill work with throaty moans. Felix was never good at keeping quiet. He could feel the youngers member twitch under his feminine and delicate waist. His mind was spinning and he was loving all the responses.

 

  “Please” Felix panted, while thrusting his hips up onto Changbin to _very clearly_ ask for some attention down there. He smiled and pulled away. Moving to the side slightly in order to undo Felix’s very tight jeans. He pulled them off, letting them join the discarded shirts next to them. Changbin didn’t spare him much time, already massaging him thru his light blue boxers. Feeling the hardness under his hand

 

 “I’m already so fucking wet, please” Felix was turned on beyond belief.  The sight was absolutely sinful. “Please it hurts so badly” Felix moaned into his ear.

 

Changbin never whipped his pants off so fast before. His underwear shortly following his jeans. He helped Felix push himself up against the headboard. He continued go straddle Felix’s thighs. Letting him grab both of their dicks with his hands so he’d be able to pump them together. Changbin threw his head back in pleasure and relief of his own problem. Felix had his face hidden in the crook of the older boy’s neck. Changbin making his strawberry blonde hair a mess and hugging his neck tightly against his own. Soon enough both boys were two moaning messes. Felix was practically humping Changbin’s hand as they kept the frantic rhythm. “Bin, I need you inside me, please” Felix begged. Changbin thought he was seeing stars. He nodded and kissed Felix on the lips, not caring how messy or if teeth clacked.  “Do you have any lube?” Changbin asked

 

  “Yeah, it’s in the top drawer of the dresser” Felix said trying to catch his breath. He liked sex like a roller coaster. He liked to be on the edge one second and then waiting for more the next.

 

While Changbin was up grabbing the lubricant, Felix turned himself around on all fours.

 

Changbin walked back over already coating his fingers on the slick substance

 

 “ _Baby, I want to see you, your face. turn around”_ Changbin mellowed and Felix melted at ‘ _baby’_

 

“W-we’ve never done it in that position, I’ve never done it in that position” Felix stuttered

 

 “Yeah but you’re just so pretty, _baby. I want to look at you”_ Changbin kissed his lips again.

 

  “Fuck. Just get on me already” Felix shuddered

 

 Felix let two fingers prob into him and move around, Changbin was surprised at how easy it had been, I mean he _had_ stretched him quite some time ago. scissoring the boy under him before he entered, Felix begging him to hurry and ‘just do it’

 

 “I’m going to give you a ride you’ll never forget” Changbin licked his lips before crashing again the youngers once more. Changbin pushes their chests together and flipped them so Felix would now be on top. He straddled Changbins waist, he pulled him closer while helping him hold himself up before being able to sink down on Changbin’s member.

 

 it’s was so hard to not just snap and roll them back over and pound the shit out of him, but he wanted to keep Felix comfortable and be able to give him as much pleasure as possible. He fought to keep control of his emotions and his body.

 

 -

 

When Felix had finally sunken down on him and Changbin was pushed so deep inside, Felix felt a powerful shiver go up his spine. He was panting on his neck, taking a rest so get used to the feeling. Changbin could feel Felix’s trembling arms reach for his shoulders and his legs basically vibrating on the sides of him. Both bodies were now full nude and god, did Felix look like pure gold on top of him. Nothing could compare to his honey skin glistening with sweat. Felix stopped talking a while ago, when he opened his mouth all that would come out were whimpers and high pitched moans.

 

 “Felix. Move” Changbin gasped, growing inpatient.

 

 “W-What do I do” Felix mumbled trying to form coherent sentences

 

 “Just do what feels good— move your hips back and forth, or bounce up and down, see what you like” Changbin spoke while biting down hard on his lip

 

Felix tries to do what the other has told him too, slowly starting to rock his hips back and forth making them both groan at the same time, Changbin starts to tighten down on the grip he has on Felix hips as he helps him grind down on him. It feels good, really, really good, Felix starts whimpering again, pants leaving his thick lips as he tries to find a rhythm.

Changbin tries to help him out the best he can, so does what he knows Felix likes the best, he leans forward to start sucking on one of his nipples again.

 

“Bin…” he moans the others name as he slowly tries to lift himself up and down. In the beginning, it’s just about an inch that he moves but once he finds the right gripping on the older’s shoulders he starts digging his legs harder into the mattress to bounce up higher and faster. His mouth falls open as high pitched moans and broken English endlessly continue to spill out of it, hips starting to move faster and harder against the other.  
  
“Just like that, baby,” Changbin praises him, fingers digging into his hips, “That’s it. I wish you could see yourself right now – so fucking sexy and just for me.” Felix whines at the compliment spurred on by it he starts moving even faster, his skin slapping against the other.

 

  Changbin threw his head back and felt his eyes roll onto another plane of existence. Felix is still having trouble finding a way to hit his prostate, no matter how hard he tries. He just grows more frustrated now that his muscles start aching and his moves turn more sloppy.

 

 “Bin— it’s hard, I can’t” Felix chokes out. The sensitive tip of his cock rubbing against Changbins stomach with every move he makes. It’s all so overwhelming.

“I can’t— please” Felix almost start crying due to frustration.

 

 “Hush baby” Changbin mumbled into the other boys ear. He ceases his thrusts, cock buried deep inside of Felix as his arms wrap tightly around his upper body. “Just hold on, okay?” Felix nods frantically, hands digging into the sudden bulging bicep of the smaller man as he lifts him up slightly and rolling them over like it’s nothing. Now that he was back on top and caging Felix’s body, he starts to thrust back in. The feeling of body warmth sending him almost instantly. Felix moaned loudly enough for their neighbors to hear and his head rolled on the pillow at the manhood that now was filling him yet again. He grabbed Changbin’s neck and dragged their bodies closer, Changbin steadying himself with his arms beside his head and Felix hugging his waist with his legs, feet digging into Changbin’s butt and thigh muscles. Their grunts and moans put more porn stars to shame. Especially when Changbin hit his sweet spot which had his eyes going wide and his fingernails digging into the skin covering Changbins neck. That how he knew he was doing something very right.

 

 Changbin was trying not to go crazy on him, noticing how Felix was taking gulps of air as his eyes were practically crying tears of immense pleasure.

 

“Fuck you’re so good, I love you so much, fuck” Changbin exasperated while kissing Felix’s chest and giving a few pumps to his member. The last of his words caught him off guard but it felt too good to stop.

 

 “Do you- hah- mean it?” Felix whined , barely able to make a sound due to everything going on.

 

“Yes! Yes I do” Changbin grunted while his temperature going off the roof and all the muscles tense and vibrate as he reached his orgasm. Felix fought a scream but the tears rolling down his cheek were just as beautiful while he reached his own. Changbin held onto his breath, thrusting into the younger a few times while he pumped him, helping the both ride it out. When he felt Felix’s muscles collapse and relax he pulled out and shamelessly stroke himself once, twice before he felt his whole body shake violently from over sensitivity . He closed his eyes and felt his arms giving up, when he looked back up Felix’s skin was sweaty, his whole body flushed, legs spread open and still shaking a bit. Their cum white strings on the younger's beautiful abdomen, his chest panting for air and an arm thrown over his face, hair a complete mess and neck and collarbone full of purple marks.  
  
usually when they would finish Changbin would make some sort of snarky remark and immediately clean himself up after recovering— that was the main difference between then and now, if you’re not counting the fact that he actually paid attention to what Felix needed and didn’t throw him around like a doll.

 

  “Changbin” Felix sighed, gasping for breath

 

 “Yea” he mumbled back

 

 “Did you mean what you said? Or was it just _a middle of sex i love you_?” His chest heaved up and down.

 

 “No, I mean every single word I said” Changbin responded, no longer struggling for breath.

 

“D-do you think you could say it again” Felix asked timidly

 

 “Felix, I love you” Changbin laughed while starring up at the ceiling, which was covered in glow in the dark stars, much like his lovers body. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it seems like I was romantizing what happened to Felix, I just want him to be able to catch a break... I hope you guys aren’t too mad at me for it— or the god forsaken smut scene


	9. Nothing Good Ever Comes With The Last Name Lee Or Seo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unedited only because I haven’t updated in4 months and I feel bad for starving y’all. Also abuse warning for if you’re sensitive to that be careful while reading

    Felix woke up in his bed while being trapped in a cage of Changbin’s arms, maybe trapped isn’t the best word because that makes it seem like he doesn’t wanna be there when really it’s the only place.

 

The birds were still chirping by the time the boys were fully awake ( one more so than the other)  It early enough that no one else in the house was up so it was calming and quite. But it was also late enough that the sun has fully risen leaving a beautiful blue painted sky outside.

 

 “This is really nice” Felix breathed, while rolling over on top of Changbin. He buried his strawberry blonde hair into the older boy’s powdery chest. _Soft white skin. Like vanilla cake batter. He began to leave a trail of kisses from his sternum leading down. Changbin just mewled under his touch._ This was different. Felix was in control for once, and even if it was preference of Changbin to be the dominant one, last night changed something. Their sex didn’t seem so much an activity to help pass time, as it was now about loving each other and being able to prove it.

 

  Felix continued trailing down until he reached Changbin’s pointy hip bones. He kissed around just right under his stomach before pulling his boxer down a bit to reveal his sharp hip bones. In return for the dull pleasure Felix was igniting, Changbin trapped his bottom lip firmly between his front teeth, while glancing down waiting for the youngers next move.

 

     _________________________________

 

  “Where the fuck is Changbin?” Jerry grit his teeth while tearing his son’s room a part

 

 “He’s out. Clearly” Chelsey responded while sitting on the couch, fixing her strawberry lip gloss.

 

 “I can see that” Jerry came out of Changbin’s room and approached Chelsey “mind telling me where the fuck he is?”

 

 “I don’t know where he always is. Because he sure as hell isn’t here. Why do you care anyways” Chelsey spit, which she was soonly rewarded with a hand across her face, followed by a loud cracking sound. Her hand went up to hold the stinging patch of skin that her father had just struck.

 

 “I’m not sure I do, and I certainly do not need your fucking attitude, so tell me where the fuck he is” Jerry began shouting louder. He held his hand high in the air to warn her for what’s coming if she doesn’t comply “is he at that faggot’s house?” Chelsey nodded her head yes. She felt so fucking guilty for betraying Changbin. They had a pact and she promised to never break it especially not after she found out about him and felix, but she also knew it would go way further than hitting— like it has in the past way way worse. worse than things being thrown and her being made bloody. If she didn’t tell him it would just become another terrible memory she’d have to bury with hair dye and lots weed.

 

“That wasn’t so fucking hard to tell me, was it?”

Jerry shouted while he tucked his pistol in his pocket and headed straight out the door like what he was about to do was as simple as going to the store for milk. He moved straight out the door and down the steps and up the block, without ever turning back.

   _________________________________

 

Felix moved back up Changbins body and gave him a peck on the lips before swiftly moving back away. Changbin hummed while flipping Felix so he’d be under him.    

 

    “I could just kiss you all day” Changbin pecked hIm softly on the nose

 

     “Then why don’t you?” Felix giggled, he was always laughing when he was around Changbin. Because the older boy’s presence just made him feel so comfortable.

 

Changbin didn’t respond with words, instead he leaned down and gently kissed Felix’s plush lips, he waited to Felix to kiss back before nibbling on the younger boys bottom lip. Felix took what Changbin was doing as a way to ask permission, he parted his lips and Changbin continued to lick into the kiss.

 

Felix moaned into the kiss, and Changbin would be lying if he said it didn’t excite him further.

 

 “Don’t do that, because then I’ll have to take this even further” Changbin whispered, voice dripping in honey

 

 “maybe that’s what I want” Felix retorted

 

  “Oh” Changbin laughed. He pecked Felix’s lips once more before moving down his neck. Felix’s neck was always such a sensitive place but he also loved when Changbins fingers and lips danced on the patch of skin.

  

                _______________________

 

Chan was passed out on couch downstairs after last nights fest which he likes to call “watching sad movies and getting wasted because I’m convinced I don’t deserve love” we’ve all been there though.

 

 He heard someone pounding on their front door, which quickly woke him out of his slumber with panic on his face. His head was still cloudy from the booze last night, and he wasn’t anything shy from _very fucking hungover_. He lifted himself off the couch with the pounding continuing.

 

 “Hold the fuck on” Chan shouted before opening the door.  

 

It was Jerry.

  


_‘Oh god’_ Chan immediately thought

 

“Where the fuck is he?” Jerry pushed chan to the side and let himself in

 

“Who?- what the fuck are you doing” Chan shouted

 

“That faggot and my son” Jerry respond before seeing the stairs “is he up here?” He asked before darting up there

 

“What the fuck are you talking abo-“ Chan responded before he remembered Felix brought Changbin back last night. Fuck. He ran up the stairs after Jerry.

 

Felix and Chan’s shared room is at the end of the hallway, and he could only hope Felix locked the door, oh god.

 

“Where the fuck are those faggots?” Jerry shouted while heading down the hallway.

 

Once Changbins dad made it outside Felix’s room he heard soft whimpers and moans which just added to his rage. He kicked the door in. The loud sound startled Felix and his eye flicked open.

 

He was in shock.

 

Changbin slowly lifted the sheet off of his head and wiped the sides of his mouth, to see his father standing on the doorway. fuck.

 

_This is almost like the night Changbin got arrested but somehow worse_

 

“What the fuck are you doing” Jerry screamed at Changbin.

 

Felix at this point has wrapped himself in the white sheet and pushed himself back again the headboard.

 

Changbin stayed silent.

 

“What? You like cock in your mouth boy and now don’t want to speak up?” Jerry continued yelling.

 

Chan stood at the doorway not knowing what to do, he shot Felix an apologetic look. His younger brother looked so pitiful and scared.

 

“Fucking respond” Jerry shouted while grabbing Changbin by his neck and punching him repeatedly in the jaw.

 

Felix looked like he was going to start crying.

 

“Get your fucking hands off him” Chan chimes in moving closer to Jerry and Changbin

 

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that, your brother might be a faggot doesn’t mean my son has to be one too” Jerry countied screaming with his hand around Changbins neck.

 

“Last time I checked he’s the one with the dick in his mouth but okay” Chan retorted

 

Jerry responded by punching Chan in the nose and he fell back into his desk.

 

Chan tried to Stan back up but Jerry was already back to hitting Changbin, and Felix has tears running down his cheeks.

 

“Leave him alone” Felix cried while more tears fell down

 

“There’s no point in fighting it anymore” Changbin rasped out, while his father kept hitting him. It didn’t even hurt anymore

 

Felix’s heart broke.

 

Changbin’s face was bruised and bloody. Changbin tried to stop fighting back at this point. He just let it happen, there was no point in fighting back. He wouldn’t win.

 

Chan held his nose in his hand while trying to pull Jerry off of Changbin. Jerry let go of Changbin and he fell back into the bed, not making any type of sound.

 

Jerry pushed Chan off of him, And reached into his pocket for the gun.

 

He pulled it out of his pocket and pointed it straight at Chan’s head.

 

Felix started screaming

 

Chan put his hands in the air and told Felix to call the police.

 

Felix reached for the phone from the night stand and started dialing 911

 

Jerry moves his finger on to the trigger.

  


Chan darted down the stairs, Jerry shot the wall behind where Chan was previously standing and started chasing after him.

 

The operator asked what the problem was and between gasps and tears Felix tried to explain what just happened

 

“Um- my boy-boyfriends dad just came in and he started beating on him and -uh um now he has a gun and he’s chasing my brother” Felix tried to explain

 

“Sir, did you say someone has a gun?” The lady on the phone asked

 

“Yes” he coughed before hearing another shot

 

“Please! Please come quick, I heard a gunshot I think he got my brother please” Felix cried

 

“Sir we are sending an ambulance and police. Stay where you are don’t go near your brother or whoever has the gun we are sending someone soon” she responded

 

“Okay, thank you” Felix hiccuped

 

He hung up the phone and moved over to Changbin

 

“I’m sorry” Felix spoke softly and tried to wipe the blood off of Changbin’s lip

 

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine” Changbin sighed

 

“No it’s not, it’s not your fault he acts like this” Felix whispered with his tears dripping onto Changbins chest

 

Changbin moves his hand to the back of Felix’s hand, holding him to his chest, while Felix tries to reassure him.

 

“The police is on there way. Everything is going to be okay, Changbin. Your dad will he put away for at least a while and we can be together and not have to worry anymore”  Felix rambles on

 

Minutes pass and he still hears screaming from down stairs but then there loud knocks on the door.

 

He hears Chan shout “there’s nothing you can do, just let me answer the door before you fucking shoot me. There’s no point in hurting me when I’m not the target of your anger” while moving toward the door

 

Felix heard the policeman radio when Chan opened the door, he’s just glad his brother is okay

 

Right when the officer got into the house he reached for his gun while shouting “Sir, put the weapon down I don’t want to have to shoot you, we have police around the house so I suggest you give yourself up now before we have problems”

 

Jerry dropped the gun, put his hands up, before quickly turning away and making a run for it to the back door

  


“Of course” the officer muttered under his breath before grabbing his radio to let his partner know where Jerry ran to

 

The officer now started to approach Chan “Sir are you hurt?” He asked

 

“No I’m not he only shot a few picture frames and the wall, But his son Changbin is upstairs and he’s pretty beat up” Chan explained

 

“Okay” The officer responded. He grabbed his radio again and asked for them to send some paramedics in

 

“Son, can you show me where the kid is?” The officer asked

 

“Yes” Chan responded

 

He went up the stairs and down the hall to show the paramedics and the officer where the room was. He knocked on the door and let the paramedics in.

 

Changbin was laying on the bed in just his boxers while Felix laid on his chest. Felix got up and Changbin tried to set himself up at sight of the paramedics.

 

“Are you okay?”  The paramedics asked

 

“Do I look okay?” Changbin laughed

 

“Well no” the paramedics laughed

 

“What is your name sir?” He asked

 

“My name is Seo Changbin” he hiccuped

 

“Okay, My name is Taeyong, I’m just going to feel around your nose to see if it’s broken or anything, are you having trouble breathing?” He asked

 

“Yes” Changbin responded

  
  


“Okay, we are going to definitely have to take you in I’m just going to patch up the gnashes on your face first” Taeyong explained

  


“Um- is it okay if I come in the ambulance with him?” Felix chimed in

 

“If the patient is okay with it yes” He responded while cleaning the cut on Changbins’ forehead

 

Changbin smiled and Felix got up with the sheet still around him, he reached into his drawer and pulled out black skinny jeans and a blue and white striped t-shirt.

He went into the bathroom while the paramedic patches up Changbin.

 

Felix hear someone raping on the door, it the paramedic

 

“We just got Changbin on the stretcher” He told Felix

 

“Alright” he respond “is it bad enough that you have to take him in?” Felix asked

 

“He has a broken nose, and it’s protocol” Taeyong responded

 

“Okay” Felix responded. He followed behind the paramedics. The two guys wheeled him to the end of the hallways and then lifted the stretcher down the steps and continued outside. They lifted him into the ambulance with Taeyong at the head of the stretcher. He helped Felix into the ambulance. Once Felix was situated and the other paramedic was in the driver's seat, Taeyong started explaining to Changbin what was going to happen. “I’m going to start doing your vitals” Changbin hummed in response.

 

Taeyong grabbed the blood pressure cuff and hooked Changbin up to the machine. “Okay this is going to stay on you the whole ride since the hospital is a 40 minute drive, it’s going to turn on every 15 minutes, also I need you to open your mouth so I can take your temperature.”

 

Changbin parted his lips and lifted his tongue so Taeyong could put the thermometer in his mouth, he wrapped his lips around the device until the machine beeped, and Taeyong wrote down his temperature on the report paper.

 

 “Okay Changbin do you know how much you weigh?” Taeyong asked

 

“57kg” He rasped

 

“Alright” Taeyong wrote “um your height”

 

“5’6” Changbin told him

 

“Yeah you’re tiny” Taeyong whispered and Gwlox laughed in response

 

“Well that’s kind of rude” Changbin lifted his head up to look at Felix

 

“Shut Up you’re 5’6” Felix laughed

 

“Okay and you’re 5’7” Changbin retorted smile “fuck stop making me smile that shit hurts”

 

Taeyong laughed he probably should tell them to stop since he’s moving while the blood pressure cuff is going, but that kid need some happiness after all the bruising on his face. He finished writing Changbins vitals down and sat on railing on the sides. “Okay Changbin we will be at the hospital in 15” He told the younger boy

 

“That was quick” Felix spoke

 

“Yeah” Taeyong responded “Okay Changbin I’m going to take the blood pressure cuff off of you since we are now pulling into the hospital”

 

Changbin hummed to let Taeyong know he was acknowledged.

 

They pulled into the hospital, the other paramedic got out the driver seat and walked around the ambulance and opened the door. He started pulling the stretcher out and Taeyong lead them into the hospital, he gave the report to the nurse once they were inside and she tried to find him a bed.

 

“Okay, Changbin, you’re going to wait here, the nurse just went to find you a room and a doctor is going to evaluate you and see if anything needs to be done surgery wise-“ Taeyong explained until Felix cut him off

 

“Surgery? We don’t have the money for that” Felix panicked

 

“His nose doesn’t appear to be out of place enough for surgery but it is always a possibility” He continued

 

Felix formed a ‘o’ shape with his lips.

 

“Okay, I’m going to go now- it was a pleasure meeting you both” Taeyong offered his hand to Changbin and then Felix and went on his way back to the ambulance.

 

A few minutes after Taeyong left, the nurse returned and greeted Felix and lead them to the room Changbin would be staying in.

 

“Hello! My name is  Yookyung I'm going to be your nurse. I already got your vital report from Taeyong but we will have to draw blood Incase you need surgery, so I’ll be right back with that, also a doctor should be seeing you soon to see if anything is going to happen” the nurse introduced herself before leaving to get the cart.

 

“Okay, Thank you” Changbin wincened while trying to sit up.

 

“Changbin… I’m so sorry” Felix spoke softly

 

“Stop saying you’re sorry when it’s not even your fault” Changbin exasperated

 

“I just feel so terrible that you’re like this just because we were together, if we weren’t you wouldn’t be in this hospital” Felix went on

 

“Are you seriously trying to break up with me while I have a broken nose?” Changbin snapped looking at him

 

“No! God no, I’m just apologizing because you keep saying it’s not my fault but it kind of is” Felix retorted

 

“Felix. I love you, and that’s what matters. I don’t even know how he knew I was here” Changbin trailer off, Amd Felix got up to stand by the bed. He leaned down to lay a kiss on Changbins lips and then they heard the nurse knocking outside before entering. She brought the cart into the room and placed beside the bed, she reached into the left drawer and pulled out 5 vials out for the blood. And she grabbed the butterfly needle.

 

 “Okay I’m going to tie this around your arm”

 

She tied the band tightly around his upper arm and started pushing down his arm for a vein to pop up.

 

“Okay, now you’re going to feel a small little pinch” she explained while unwrapping the needle. She decretly pokes the needle into his arm and stick the vial into the butterfly needle and filled the first vial and then the next and so on. “Okay thank you!” The doctor should be in soon” she explained and Changbin nodded his head

 

A few minutes passed, and Felix was texting Chan to keep him updated.

 

 “Chan should be here any minute, he said you can stay with us since I imagine you don’t wanna be home even if your father isn’t there” Felix said

 

“I’ll be happy as long as I’m with you” Changbin tried to smile

 

“That’s cheesy” Felix laughed “also we can swing by your place whenever we get out of here so you can grab some things”

 

“Sounds good” Changbin responded before hearing someone knock on the door again

 

“Hello, um- Changbin I’m Kang Daesung, and on the report I read it said you got into a altercation with your dad and he broke your nose?” He spoke

 

“Yeah that’s correct” Changbin responded

 

“Okay, I’m going to feel around your nose if that’s okay to see if I can get an idea of how severe it is and see if you need surgery and if not we are going to get you out of here as soon as possible” Daesung told the younger boy as he put his gloves on, He carefully felt around the bridge of Changbins nose, and flinched against the doctors touch. “Hmm okay” Daesung spoke under his breath

 

“What? What is it?” Felix asked alarmed.

 

“His nose only has a slight fracture, the bleeding would be the main problem, so lucky for you two, he’s not going to need surgery, I’m just going to split in it up and you both should be on your way” The doctor explained

 

“Well that’s good” Changbin spoke.

 

The doctor grabbed a nose splint bandage and put it on his nose. “Okay you’re all done! I’m going to prescribe you antibiotics and you should check back in with a doctor I’m 2 weeks to make sure it heals correctly” Daesung told him

 

“That quick?” Felix asked

 

“That quick” The doctor nodded

 

“So I’m good to leave now?” Changbin asked

 

“Yes, the nurse will be in soon with your discharge papers” He explained

 

Changbin thanked the shook his hand before he left.

Yookyung came back into the room with the papers for him to sign. It was two sheets of paper he signed off saying that he got treatment and that the hospital will be in touch with his insurance company and if the insurance can’t cover all of the expenses he will receive a bill in the mail, and the second paper was for the follow up treatment.

 

“Chan is in the parking lot” Felix told Changbin once he finished signing the papers

 

“Alright, lets go I guess” He responded while trying to get out of the gurney

 

“Let’s go” Felix smiled while grabbing Changbins hand.

 

”I need a fucking cigarette” Changbin chuckled 

 “After today, me too” Felix added.

 

 The two boys left through the lobby, and hopped into Chan’s car which was parked right out front of the hospital. Chan in the driver's seat and Felix and Binnie in the back. Felix rested his head on Changbins shoulder and threw the eldest arm around his shoulder

 

 “Hey, how’re you feeling? Changbin” Chan asked

 

 “Well my nose is broken so good all things considering” He laughed

 

 “Very true” Chan returned while starting the car

 

 “Um- Chan can you go by Changbins place so he can grab some things?” Felix asked

 

 “Yeah, I’m going to bring Chelsey over if that’s okay” Chan responded

 

Felix hummed in response.

  


                     ____________________

 

They arrived at the Seo home, Felix went in with Changbin so he could grab a few things. They walked up the Porch and into the house. Changbin headed straight into his room and reached for his book bag.

He stuffed a few shirts and pants into the bag along with his stuffy “Gyu” who cares if he’s 18 and still sleeps with stuffed animals? Felix thought it was kinda cute.  Changbin continued to stuff his bag before grabbing his toothbrush and adding that in too.

 

“Is that all you’re bringing?” Felix asked

 

 “Yeah, if I need anything else I’ll just walk about over here” Changbin sighed

 

They walked about out into the living room to grab Chelsey, she looked uneasy. There was something on her mind Felix just couldn’t figure out what.

 

 “You coming?” Changbin asked

 

 “Um yeah” she responded and followed the couple back to Chan’s car. Chelsey got into the passengers seat and Changbin and lix packed back into the backseat.

 

 “I’m going to move into Jisungs room since he’s still MIA so you and Changbin can have the room to yourselves, that cool?” Chan asked

 

“Perfect” Felix smiled while Changbin pressed his lips to Felix’s cheek. He burned with blush.

 

“We going to finish what we started when we get back?” Changbin whispered into blonde boys ear. Felix bit his lip in return, while Chan pulled into their driveway.

 

They all got out of the car. Changbin reaches for Felix’s hand and Chan unlocks the door. He holds the door for Chelsey and the two boys head up the stairs right when they get inside. Chan couldn’t help but laugh.

 

 “You want anything?” Chan asked while turning the TV on

 

 “I’m good” she responded

 

“Are you sure?” He asked “you seem off”

 

“Actually do you have beer?” She asked

 

“It’s 3pm” he deadpans

 

“And?” She laughed

 

 “Is old style cool?” Chan asked

 

 “Yup” she responded while plopping down on the couch

 

                  ____________________

  


Felix sat down on the bed giggling while Changbin took his shirt off before helping Felix out of his own.

Changbin then when down to undo the younger boys jeans

 

 “Nope, it’s your turn get your ass on the bed” Felix laughed

 

 “Oh so you’re a tough guy now?” Changbin teased

 

 “Yes” Felix smiled while pulling Changbin down on to the bed, he flipped them so that Changbin is laying on the bed while he slides down to unto the button and then the zipper on his jeans, he slowly slipped them off his legs. Changbin peered down so he could see exactly what his boyfriend was doing.

 

Felix Palmed him through his boxers while going up to nip at Changbins neck. Changbin hummed to let Felix know he liked what he was doing.

 

 “Mmm you’re so good” Changbin rasped out

 

Felix started kissing down his neck and down his chest, stopping at each of the buds on his chest making sure to pay each of them some attention before returning back to the tent that is now forming in this boxers

 

  “Take them off” Changbin whispered

 

 “Be patient” Felix responded

 

  Changbin whined

 

Felix moves Changbins boxers down only slightly to kiss his sharp hip bones, Felix loves his hips. He now slowly moved his boxers all the way down to revel Changbins now throbbing member. Felix quickly moved his lips to swirl around the head and Changbin immediately squealed. Felix would listen to his high pitched moans all day if he could. Changbin usually has a deep voice but during sex it was a whole different story. Felix continue working on the tip while his hands worked on the shaft. He started moving down further with his mouth until the head hit the back of his throat. Changbins mouth dropped in melancholy moans. It was music to Felix’s ears

  


          _________________________

  


  “Chan… I have to tell you something” Chelsey spoke while moving away from his embrace

 

 “What is it?” Chan asked “why did you move away? You’re scaring me” he laughed

 

 “Jerry isn’t getting out for 5 years now that he’s broken probation and had a gun when we should’ve. And I’m still only 16 so I contacted my grandmother so that I won’t become a ward of the state-“ Chan cut her off.  “Where are you going with this?” He asked with his heart now beating out of his chest

 

  “I’m going back to Yongin tomorrow. My grandma is coming tonight to take me there, and I’ll be going back to school. When I move there I want to forget Everything terrible that happened here and be able to start fresh” she explained

 

 “so you wanna forget me too, and now you’re breaking up with me” He spoke with pain in his voice

 

“Chan I could never forget you, you’re the only man who didn’t treat me like a sex doll” She response with sad eyes.

 

Chan did speak. His jaw started aching since he had been clenching his teeth to try and keep the tears in.

 

 “I’ve gotta go pack. I wanted to be able to say goodbye to you” she whispered before pecking his lips goodbye. She picked herself up off from the couch

 

“Thank you Chan” she said before leaving a letter for Felix on the coffee table and walking out the door.

  


 “FUCK!” Chan started screaming while throwing the beer bottle at the wall. Which startled Felix up stairs.

 

He lifted his head up from between Changbins legs “can I suck some dick without someone throwing shit” Felix shouted jokingly

 

“We can see what’s going on downstairs in Second just please finish, I was so close” Changbin whimpered

 

“You’re a slut man” Felix laughed while jerking Changbin off with his hand

 

 “Mmm say it again” Changbin moaned

 

Felix moves his lips back to the tip and starts sucking again feeling Changbins member twitch letting him know Changbin is close.

 

         ____________________________

 

10 minutes pass and Felix go down stairs to check on Chan, he’s sitting on the couch, there is glass on the coffee table and his head is sitting in his hands

 

 “What the fuck happened?” Felix shouted

 

 “Chelsey broke up with me, and she left that for you” he pointed to the letter on the table. Felix reaches for it and immediately started reading

 

“Changbin, did you know she was going to do this” Chan asked while wiping his glassy eyes

 

 “No, I swear I didn’t” Changbin responded

  


 “She said she’s moving back to Youngin with your grandmother so she start over” Chan explained

 

“When is she leaving?” Felix’s head snapped up from the letter

 

 “Tonight” Chan spoke softly

  


 “Fuck, was she even going to say goodbye to me?” Felix shouted “Chan let me use your car I have to see her before she goes”

 

“Yeah take the keys” Chan told him

 

“Changbin c’mon!” Felix shouted. He basically ran out to the car and jumped into the driver's seat, he was terrified of missing her, after everything they went through. She was one of the first people he came out too, and the whole fake girlfriend thing.

 

 “I can’t believe she wasn’t even going to wait to say goodbye to me” Felix spoke flabbergasted

 

He sped to her house, already not really knowing how to drive. He curved right into their driveway and ran up the porch and busted into the house

 

 “Chelsey??” Felix shouted

 

 “Felix?” She responded coming out of her room “did you get my letter? I didn’t wanna bother you and Changbin”

 

“I did, why weren’t you going to wait for me? I need to see you one last time, who knows when I’ll get to see you again Yongin is far away Chelsey” he laughed sadly. Changbin stood at the doorway.

 

 “Yeah it is. Felix I love you, know that” she pecked his cheek

 

 “I do, I’m going to miss you so much, please say you’ll text me. We’ve through everything together from us fake dating to me getting hospitalized we’ve been together through thick and thin” a tear trailed down his cheeks

 

 “I will” she tried to smile

 

 “Please don’t forget me” his voice cracked

 

 “I could never” she pulled him into a tight hug and he kissed her cheek.

 

 Changbin walked over “come on sis give me one too” he joined the hug and kissed his little sister on the forehead. “I’m sorry our life turned out this way, I feel like I’m responsible, I should have stood up for you earlier” Changbin explained “I’m just glad you get to start over while you still have the time”

 

“Yeah” she smiled “you guys are going to make me cry, and grandmother is going to be here in an hour”

 

“Then we are spending your last hour in Seoul with you” Felix wipes his eyes.

 

“Yeah” Changbin smiled putting his arm around Felix.

 

“I’ll make us bagel bites so it can be like old times” Changbin offered

 

“And I’ll put on Train To Busan, your favorite movie” Felix smiled at Chelsey  

 

“I love you guys” she responded

 

“I think you’ve already said that” Changbin pointed out with a laugh

 

“Yeah but it’s true” she retorted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the second to last chapter huh? 
> 
> I’m going to go back and edit/ update all the old chapters before writing the epilogue so I suggest y’all re-readyhe story when that comes out! I hope you enjoyed this chapter I stayed up all night to get it done lmao, please leave kudos and comment to make not sleeping worth it! I love you guys

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! not my best, it could have been so much worse? maybe now... however i LOVE this concept. i hope you enjoyed it though!
> 
> Please remeber to leave kudos and comments!! have a great day/night <3
> 
> ALSO!! I made a Twitter for alll my a03 people so I can update you and you can see my weird kpop shizzz so I’m follow me!! https://mobile.twitter.com/ariesavacado


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